Posted by: Sasha | 2008/07/15

In a Hurry?

Iv been in a relationship for a short while now(5months) and i know this is the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with.I know its a short time but iv had other relationships and one that lasted 4yrs-we were engaged too but i knew deep down then that he wasnt for me so i broke it off.

Im madly inlove with this guy,we have our issues but my major thing is that he told me that he feels this way about me but he dsnt plan on getting married anytime soon.

Would it be a waste of my time to wait 3-4 years on aomeone that cannot garantee that we would be together
He will only think about that in the next 3-4 yrs...
If i could i would do it tomorrow!
Does he maybe not love me as much as he says.I mean i dont want to waste another 4yrs of my life.Im 26 and he is 25.
I know he loves me but then sometimes i feel like he would maybe be using me for sex and to satisfy his needs and when he's had enough he will break it off.I just feel so paranoid about it all even tho he assures me all the time how much i mean to him.

Would i just be wasting my time?As he dsnt want to give me a definite answer as to getting married and says that he cant say for sure what will happen in the future but for now he knows he that im the one for him.What should i think about this?

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Our expert says:
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You know how you feel, and he has told you how he feels. Explore, negotiate, and plan how you want to deal with those results. Nobody here can predict the future

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Our users say:
Posted by: lou | 2008/07/15

so if you got married what is the guarantee that in 4 years time you wont be divorced and then you will say "am i wasting my time....". being in a committed relationship where you both are happy and getting what you need from the relationship is important more so than a ring on your finger. from my personal experience people are getting married to young and divorced even younger, rather make sure that him and you are comfortable with the space that you both are at because then if and when the time is right then your marriage will last because both of you did it for the right reasons and not the cos reasons.

Reply to lou
Posted by: Sg | 2008/07/15

It is very difficult for us to give a suitable answer to this as only you know if you are prepared to wait for him as he might dump you eventually anyway.I would suggest you give him a chance and in your own mind have some sort of timeframe to see what happens.If he still shows no sign of making it more permanent then you might then want to reconsider your options.

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