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Question
Posted by: DONT KNOW | 2004/11/09

In a dilemma<br>What can I do

My wife and I are going through a divorce and it should be through soon.She has been staying with her father and brother for the last two and half months.Her mother passed away in January.On Saturday she came around and we made passionate love in the morning and evening.I asked her why,she said that she still has feelings and part of her still loves me.I still love her as well.She told me that the divorce is still going through and if we are meant to be together so be it.On sunday afternoon I went to speak to her father and told him that I love his daughter,you see he is in a comfort zone now because he has his daughter to look after him now.please tell me how I can get her to come back to me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Actually, this seems more common that you might think --- that during a divorce at least some of the affection for each other survives. Much depends on the reasons for the divorce ( and I guess from the way you tell it, that the divorce is on her main initiative ). I'm not sure that there's much you can do except perhaps to suggest that you sincerely regret whatever issues and problems caused her to desire a divorce, and that you would like to give the marriage a last proper chance, by asking her to join you in serious marriage counselling ( eg with FAMSA ) to see what can be remedied, and if not, at least to part with a better understanding on both your parts, of why this is happening, and how to avoid similar sadness in the future.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/09

You have been naughty and she is punishing you.

She won't listen to your pleas - she appears to be totally independent of you, so you have no hold over her.

You don't have to wait until she has finished playing her game or changed her mind. Go out and mix with other people - maybe you will find someone really special out there while your wife thinks she is in control and playing games with you. Don't play into her hands.

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