Posted by: Anonymous RED | 2009/05/10


I am 40 and he is 35 yrs old, with 2kids (9& 7 yrs) and married for 13 yrs now. We' re not very sexually active (he blame it on my tiredness or he have alot on his mind), but he is having, what I call " dry dreams"  in his sleep several times/night and frustrates me, I don' t know what to make of it. I want to get these libido tabs, but I' m not sure if he will be able to fullfil my need. Recently we were about to make love, when he asked me to lock the bedroom door,I rushed to do that, but when I came back to him it was all over, without any explaination, he slept. It never happened after that, but I still wonder about it. If you know the answer, please explain it to me and advise what I should do on my part. I want to be more sexually active with my husband, some times he is not very patient with me, that is one of the reasons why I want to get the libido tablets. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
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Unfortunately I can't give a nice and easy answer to you as it looks confusing and complex - if he's in the mood, you're not and vice versa! Unless what I'm hearing is that he looses his erection...if this is the case then he needs to go for a physical check up as it could be an early sign of a serious health issue (it is not necessarily that he is being unfaithful - afterall, he has said he wants to have sex...and then it's all over). It looks like you need to talk openly and honestly about this dilemma and try to work out some possible ways to address this, including identifying what the problem really is. From your perspective, could you be more affectionate, make more time to be a lover than mother? From his side, does he suffer with erectile problems, or has he lost sexual desire?
I would recommend you check this out with him first, and once you identify where the problems are (yours and his, not just yours OR his), then you can try to address them!
There is no licensed/proven product to assist with a woman's libido, so by all means try over the counter preparations, but the best bet is for you to try to drive your sexual response as best you can (focus on sensation, use lubricant if need, use fantasy if it is okay with you and it helps).

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