Posted by: S &  T | 2008/10/23


Sometimes I wish I could give my ex another chance and feel the way I felt about him in the beginning, 3 years ago. But that would be impossible. Although we are now friends (or lets rather say we try to be), we always fight about what could have been. He says it would' ve been marvelous and I say the marriage wouldn' t have lasted 2 years. So we now agree to disagree and still go away together for weekends. So we' ve got no one else or we' re afraid of letting go completely? Haven' t decided. I love him so much that I hate him and I hate him so much that I love him.

Everytime we end up trying again, he screws up in a different way. So now, after being on my own for 6 months I realize that the only way I would be able to give him another chance would be for me to have hypnotherapy or to have a piece of my brain removed.

I have forgiven, but I can' t seem to forget.

I want him to move on and forget about me cause I truly can' t stand him near me and he' s not good enough in anycase, but the thought of him with someone else feels like an arrow through the heart, I can' t let go? He' s mine!

I need help..

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Our expert says:
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As the title of the Tom Wolfe novel said : "You Can't Go Home Again", and was it an old Roman proverb about how you ncan't step in the same river twice ? Because home, and the river, keep changing, as do you. You absolutely cannot again feel as you "felt about him in the beginning" --- neither of you are the same people as you were then, and so much has happened. Similarly, why argue about what MIGHt have been ? It WASN'T ! Talk abouit what might still be, but you cannot change the past. And you could disagree completely and both be right, because you were standing in different places, and got different vierws of what was going on.
If you must insist that he's "YOURS", why did you separate ? You both sound scared of not finding someone else, so cling to each other rather than face the possibility of nothing --- yet of course you're both giving up many chances of something better.
Hypnotherapy is too often quackery, and is not used, by any competent professional, to make you forget things that have happened to you --- neither is brain surgery.
See a counsellor and work out a different approach to your mutually self-defeating set of bad habits

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