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Question
Posted by: lindsey | 2010/01/17

important or not

hi doc.pls tel me how important is saying the 3 words' ' i love you' ' in a relationship?my bf of ten months used to say it everyday but now 2 months can go by without hearing it unless i say it 1st.i spoke to him about it last sunday and he said its because of al da fights we have been having(we fight almost every week) but nothing has changed.we hardly kiss or hug and touch to the point that while he was relating some story to me today,he gently touched my thigh and i felt completely uncomfortable.he' s there when i need him e.g if i need to go shopping,he offers to take me etc.we go to church together and generally he is a bf in those ways except when it comes to the 3 little words and the physical stuff.we also dont see eachother as much but that could be just a normal part of a relationship.im terribly lonely and bored in the relationship and have thought of leaving but im just confused.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If this is what he's like when he's "there for you", I wonder what he'd be like if he wasn't !
But many men are just awful at putting emotions into words, even if they feel them.
Rather than insisting on 3 particular words, why not see a couples counsellor together to work on the broader issues ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2010/01/17

Yes, those are VERY important words. Your B/F (Bloody Fool) is insensitive and even though you say he is there for you, he is not really WITH you spiritually and that is important in any relationship. If he behaves like that now, your marriage would be an emotional desert and you, being a sensitive person would really suffer. He may just be treating you as a convenience. Have you thought of that ? I would really consider carrying on this relationship, remember people DO NOT CHANGE !!!

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/17

If this is what he's like when he's "there for you", I wonder what he'd be like if he wasn't !
But many men are just awful at putting emotions into words, even if they feel them.
Rather than insisting on 3 particular words, why not see a couples counsellor together to work on the broader issues ?

Reply to cybershrink

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