advertisement
Question
Posted by: Carol | 2004/12/13

Im getting a bit worried

CS thoughts please .. sorry to be a pain .. but then again some of us are and some arent

Things with me and the kids are great we are all working .. we are all busy and to be quite honest none of us have the time or the inclination to have to baby and battle with an adult living temporarily 1000 km away.

Im talking about my hubby .. he is still back at our old home working his notice .. he finsishes the end of december and then he joins us permanently ...

I sympathise with the fact that he is lonelyand has no one to talk to but its only a few weeks ... now my problem is is to get him to make sure his salry is going to be fine and to do a few basic things like change addresses etc .. small little things ... he has more time on his hands than what we do , and im no longer working with the firm so I cant interfere and sort out the salary department ....also of course he is there which makes it easier for him to deal with basic odds and sods .

I dont know how to deal with him anymore I honestly thought that my being here would force him into some sort of action where he can think for himself but it aint working .and its worrying me .. back there I had nohting better to do with myself than deal with everything which he was quite happy to let me do .. and he knew that he was going to have to learn to think .... now im in a situation where I have a busy high pressurised job and i dont have time .. we are now going to HAVE to share things .. I cant do it all anymore ...befoer the kids came down the kids were looking after him but now Stephen is workinga 15 hour day as a trainee manager at a populer beachfront restaurant .....

Its going to be so sad if all our planning comes together which it is so far ruins my relationship with him .

help ........

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, Carol, as you keep re-discovering, we are inded all Different. Some of us have handled situations when, for good reasons, we have been alone and lonely for extended periods, without maing a major problem of it. Some folks are less secure and self-confident, and need a regular boost from others, to get through comfortably. For a range of reasons, you handled so much of what was needed, that he didn't need to do so, so you're expecting him to change a long-standing habit ! Maybe after he joins you, he can be encouraged into become more independent and taking more responsibility and even initiative, but it'll need to be a gradual process.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement