Posted by: Confused and in love | 2008/11/08

IFeelings for fiends girlfriend

I recently got married with a girl Ive been with for 6 years.I love my wife dearly and I' ve never even looked twice at any other woman in that way.My problem is..I' ve developed feelings for one of my best friends girlfriends. Nothing has happened and I would like to know if the feelings that I' m feeling is normal. I' m feeling guilty as hell as I love my wife and I care for my friend and wouldnt want to hurt anyone.Ive been avoiding then so I cant see them.Hoping out of mind is out of sight but this isnt the case.Please help.

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Our expert says:
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You don't HAVE to develop feelings for this other woman --- you don't have to see her or talk to her at all. Rather plan to see a marriage counsellor together with your wife with the aim of enhancing your own marriage

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Big girlo | 2008/11/10

I understand what you' re going through. This is not about being selfish, it' s not something you plan.
CS and Mandy, the guy clearly states, he is inlove with his wife and does not want to hurt anyone.

It happenned with and elder sister we' re different fathers. Now her cousin from father' s side is married to this guy. The cousin has always been threatened by me, at first I thought it was competition as we' re the same age group. My sister, picked this up, of which she never wanted to entertain.
That was 6 years ago when this happenned, like I say I was never aware of it, In January this year, they were at my mum' s place (sister' s cousin and hubby). Hubby could not hold back, it was obvious to everyone present that hubby has got hots for me. Just after that day, i developed some attraction for hubby. II could not get him out of my mind.
I honestly told my sister how I felt about the guy, not with the intention of causing any trouble. My sister confessed only now that she' s been seeing the fact that cousins hubby is attracted to me, and wife is threatened by that.
For me to get over with it, I told the guy and we laughed about it. As much as we could have luvd to have something, but we know we will be hurting her. We' re avoiding contact, and it' s slowly fading away from my side. It' s not a matter of out of sight out of mind, it' s because I got honest with myself and told him.
Now, there' s one thing about feelings, you can not control and say " do not feel this way about A" . What' s important is how you deal with it to overcome them .

Brother...I hope you find the best way to deal with those feelings. Pray about it as well. Good luck, I know it' s torture.

Reply to Big girlo
Posted by: mandy | 2008/11/10

you are selfish

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