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Question
Posted by: Unhappy | 2005/11/25

If I am at fault pls tell me?

I just feel I don't know down/neglected/used.


My b/f took my son to bed 2 nights ago and when my son woke up and cried on his way to bed my b/f said shut up x 2, he's done this before. I dont feel it's right to talk to a 4year old like that.

Yes if I ever as much as look as if I don't love his kids to death I'm in shitstreet.

So the last 2 days if told him to go fetch his kids from school as I'm just not in the mood to bother but had a good exchuse why I couldnt.

The last 2 weeks or so when we do have sex he gets his load off and falls asleep. So this morning when he wanted to I said no he asked why I said what do I get out of it ? He said leave it.

I feel like treating his kids like he treats mine, would that not open his eyes as to how he hurts me ? I've spoken to him before and then it goes a bit better for a while only. I feed, bath, collect & drop his kids as well as babysit on weekends and all I ever ask of him is to put my kid to bed when he's sleeping on the sofa. He doesnt have to collect or feed or bath or do anything else for him. He teases my child until he cries, there is just no love for my child.

He's just stopped doing things for me lately like making coffee every now and then I'm the only one that makes. He comes home has a cooked meal and that's it for the evening. Never do I get asked can he pour me something.

He doesnt even say goodnight anymore and when I mentioned it this morning he said I'm the one that comes to bed last so I must say goodnight.

When I complain he say's all I ever do is moan.

When I say things like I drove out half a tank of petrol did nearly 200k's he'll say it's impossible to do half a tank with that, so what I feel, what I am trying to say is that I find myself keeping quiet more and more because he's always choking me if you understand what I mean, he's always saying something to make me feel he's putting me down.

I don't know, what am I doing wrong here ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I have no answer for your last question --- I find it hard to understand what you're doing there. The arrangement sounds excellent for HIM, with free sex, babysitting, household chores, cooking, cleaning, and child-minding, but what's there for you, beats me. Why are you staying with him ?
As Lee says, don't degrade yourself and his innocent kids, by treating them as he treats yours --- continue to set a good example. But if you think there is anything possible top retrieve in this relationship, insist that he join you in couples counselling or else leave, and let him discover how valuable you were to him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Valkyrie | 2005/11/25

What ever your differenaces as adults are....please, don't take it out on the kids. They are not responsilbe for the way the other "parent" treats them. They are just kids and should net be punished if there is trouble among the adults.

Reply to Valkyrie
Posted by: Lee | 2005/11/25

Sounds like he needs to adjust his attitude. Perhaps the two of you should seek couples councelling. I don't, however, think it will be fair for you to treat his kids like he treats yours. After all , they did nothing wrong - their father did so it wouldn't be fair to them. Don't get dragged down to his level.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Jenny (aka Nadine) | 2005/11/25

I don't think you're at fault here. He sounds like an insensitive jerk and the next time he tells your son to shut up I suggest you take your fist and shove it down his throat. There's no ways in hell anyone will talk to my kids like that. Tell him to shape up or ship out.

Reply to Jenny (aka Nadine)
Posted by: Anon | 2005/11/25

Maybe you do moan to much.men do not like it.
Go for counceling

Reply to Anon

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