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Question
Posted by: Ingiphile | 2007/12/04

Iam sick& tired of her

Hi Doc & everyone, there's this woman im working with. we know each other back from school. she can't keep her mouth shut, she's alwayz talking about other people's private life and even her own. not that i don't gossip but she is extreme. now im very bored of her, she will update u on every little thing happening in her life and other people - she doesn't know the meaning of the word "confidential". i now wish to lock my office because of her, im becoming rude now bcoz when ever she get invlove on other people's business i become angry. u can't talk with her about career or what on the news/magazines. lately she's been desparate to fall pregnent - she will come and tell you all the details of her with her other boy that she want 2 father her baby, if shes in periods, she will tell u howmany pads she used, what bath soap is she using, the colour of her towel. if she bought something she will tell you and expect you to compliment it - if you didn't like it, she will tell the whole office that you might be jeleous of her. im seek and tired of her. i wish she can get a better job some where else & earn double the amount she is earning so that i will find peace.

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Our expert says:
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I wonder what would happen if someone carefully fed her gossip that was actually transparently untrue, such that she would start telling everyone, who would see that she had things hopelessly wrong ? And when she's in one of her irritating Tell All moods, I wonder what'd happen if one asked more and more probing and detailed questions, until even she got irritated about it ? When she seeks praise for whatever she's bought, straight-faced, give her far more praise that she expects, to the point that nobody else would believe it if she told them. ANd I wonder whether someone might fed her CV to some employment agencies, so she might come to hear of other jobs opportunities ?
But seriously, why not lock your office door if she behaves like that ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: That | 2007/12/05

That must be disgusting in deed "Periods and number of Pads used???

Reply to That
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/12/05

tell her straight in the face that you are not friends and you are strictly colleques and she must tell those s*** to her so called friends because you are diffinitely not there for friendship you are there for work.

you do't mix business with pleasure , if she want to go on and talk tell her to make appointment and you'll meet her for cofee elsewhere then you'll talk.

don't destroy your relationship with colleques for her.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: Ingiphile | 2007/12/05

I will nicely tell her that im busy, she will say" or i 4got that u are supper serious about ur work" and she will like going out of my office & stand infront of my door & continue with her never ending stories. i tried to ignore her by not going into her office or intertaining her stories/gossip but that it doesn't boader her. I tried to discourage her by not sharing with her my private life(who im dating etc.) but she doesn't care, she will like "U never told me about ur bf & what r u guyz doing - but it ok Ingy I know you are a very private person". So tell me how do u deal with a person like this. It difficult for me to lock my office coz Im supervising- people they come in for assistance the other problem is that my staff and other collegeas they nolonger comfortable in asking for advices coz Im associated with her - they know what kind of a person she is. Im really tired of her. ( we are both 26 maybe that why she likes coming to my office?)

Reply to Ingiphile
Posted by: another anon | 2007/12/04

She sounds like a very lonely self absorbed person. When she has nothing to fill her life but by gossiping and going into minuute details......

The point is this, think of WHY she angers and irritates and frustrates you so much. Do others feel the same way.

There is a saying that says when you point a finger four more point back at you. What you find irritating or hate in other people, its those same qualities you hate in yourself.

You do have power over how you react and deal with people that push your boundaries. Switch off and totally ignore her. Tell her you are busy and don't have time to listen to her bantering. You have more important things to deal with in your life.

People who drain your energy, keep them out of your life.

Its sad isn't it, but you have to put yourself first.

Reply to another anon
Posted by: Paul | 2007/12/04

Well done on wishing her well while wishing her off! Can you imagine all the things shell buy and talk about earning double! lol

Reply to Paul

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