Posted by: concerned girlfriend | 2008/08/13

i' ve been trying to post with no luck

He is gone Hi CS

My boyfriend passed away on Saturday after battling with a brain tumor for over a year, and being on a life support for two weeks.

It was expected, however I was hoping for a miracle, I was expecting God to intervene. I feel as though I did not do enough for him. Being with his family is an excruciating pain as we can all feel his absence. I am a contractor - no work no pay! So yes I had to come to work today. I am just a zombie...

How do I handle this? Please help

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Our expert says:
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My condolences, cg, I know this is a tough time for you.
It is so normal, as I know full well, from my own grief and those of others I have worked with, that however much you did for someone who has died, you tend to feel guilty, wishing you could have done more, even if there was, in reality, no more to have done. One hopes for miracles however well one knows that they are impossible. Remember that you did more for him than most other people would have done, and maybe in some way resuming your work can be a form of tribute to him, as he would want you to carry on and regain strength soon.
Grief work is hard work, and takes months, and counselling from someone experienced in helping ( such as someone attached to your local Hospice ) may help. And this soon after such a loss, one runs to some extent on autopilot, with a sort of freezing of emotions that indeed feels like a zombie. The ice melts in time, first to the spring showers of tears, and later there are occasional and gradually extending episodes of sunshine,. too.

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Our users say:
Posted by: | 2008/08/14

Dearest girlfriend.
I had lost my hubby on 27 March 2008 due to brain tumor as well, my dear it was bad it is still bad, night mares and all this sad moments, my hubby was in a coma for a week and passed on, until today its still unreal to me, though we were separated, but I had to be there for him through thick and thin. He stayed in hospital for two months after two ops, can you I send you my email ad.

Reply to
Posted by: CG | 2008/08/13

thanks Jcat - I hope i' ll get through this soon.

Reply to CG
Posted by: jcat | 2008/08/13

My condolences, as well. Don' t beat yourself up too much - from everything you' ve written recently, you did all you could for him.
Look after yourself as well now.

Reply to jcat

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