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Question
Posted by: kiz | 2007/06/09

i'm shallow

i'm shallow when it gets to guys.see the thing is i'm not drop dead gorgious but i'm pretty .My friens are all pretty and populer and they get hot guys all the time.and i feel i have to step up to their plate.a lot of guys like me but they're all ugly,so i tend to reject them for their looks.is it normal to feel this way,do i have a low self asteem help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Finding the right person to have a relationship with should not be a competition - its more about whether someone treats you well, with respect and loves you for who you are.

Just because a guy is good looking it doesnt mean he's going to treat you well, or you him. Your partner should never be a fashion accessory.

Having to have the prettiest girl or most handsome guy can be a form of low self-esteem as you are externalising your reasons to feel good about yourself. If you feel good about being you others will see that and the guys you turn down are considered 'ugly' by you - but someone else will find them their perfect match so be careful to not judge others and think more in terms of who suits you rather than labelling others - as you will also end up labelling yourself!

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: jack | 2007/06/14

Dear u don't have to jardge ur self by saying ur "ugly'',cause someone loves u and sees u as an angel of his heart, so when someone says he loves you he know that you are the right type for him,since you know that it is not easy to get someome who is handsome while ur not "much prety",but the probabilies are there to have one, cause nowadays ""some of" we guyz "we" go for manners,so may advise is to respect yourself and have confidence,then after you will see your self apearing like a super star e.g.Halle Berry, when you look on you mirrow(speel).

good luck chees girl.



Reply to jack
Posted by: 555 | 2007/06/11

hey u know in my school all the "cool" people are not at all wat I would call hot. Im a guy, and Im not gay, but I can tell if a guy is attractive or not. Now some of the main popular guys in my school are fine but my group which consists of everyone who is tall, strong and most of us a hell of a lot more handsome than the "cool" guys. And we all have great personalities, but because we are just laid back non-clubbers and dont drink ourselves to sleep every weekend and dont party or anything, none of the girls notice us. I mean I am also shallow, but there is no way I would go out with some hottie that is a biatch.
Kiz, what Im trying to say s, look around. There may be one or two guys that you havnt noticed before but are good looking. I get pissed because the hot girld like yourself keep looking in the wrong direction.

Reply to 555
Posted by: guy | 2007/06/10

listen, there are very few people in this world that are actually ugly. there are many beautiful people, many decent people, and many people in between. but there are not so many ugly people

Your problem is that you are afraid of what others will think if you date or get involved with someone that is below par (par being the level of attractiveness of teh guys your friends are dating). I know exactly what kind of person you are because i live in/go to school in one of those places where people who think like you are abundant to the point that it is disgusting.

What you should really look for in a person is personality if you are looking for a real relationship. you have to think about what you really need from a person in a relationship; whether it be humor, sexual expertise, conversational skills, tolerance and laid back personality, etc. looks should be the last thing that concerns you. Before you reject someone who wants to get involved with you in either a relationship or a hook up, think about whether or not they are a person that you really enjoy being with.

when it comes down too looks, think really hard about whether the person is really so unattractive that touching them or feeling something for them would bring you to vomitting. you cannot fear what others will think about you, you cannot always look at others as examples of what your relationship should be like, and you should think about what you consider ugly rahter than what is generally considered mediocre

Reply to guy
Posted by: kiz | 2007/06/10

thanx travis

Reply to kiz
Posted by: Travis | 2007/06/10

Hey Kiz
I had the same problem mate!!!!! but the perfect some1 comes along sometime in your life. Give it time, It's difficult dating an ugly looking person but trust me they have more 2 offer and great personalities! Someone will come around as it has recently done to me and its gr8. gool luck...........................

Reply to Travis

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