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Question
Posted by: Love101 | 2008/01/22

I'm hurting

i'm a responsible, in cotrol type of person so i would like to think. I have 2 problems:
1. I'm in a relationship of 4 yrs we have been to hell and back but i dont feel appreciated by my better half, i feel like i'm giving and giving in this relationship and getting nothing back, he is my first love and all but i'm tired. this morning i found a way to describe our situation "If we are so in love, how come we are so unhappy" i feel pain just thinking about the love that i have for him and he so selfish and does not think much about me (well i think) but his response is that he loves me no matter what. I'm in the middle of the crisis i love him so much and i dont want to lose him

2. I'm young and successful (so i think) but my parents dont trust me. i want to move out of the house as i need my independence but they wont budge, not that i have given them a reason not to trust me but they just dont trust me. my dad is going on about me getting out of the family house when i get married but it doesn't look like i will get married considering the above. i mean i'm 26 yrs old i need my own space. i have renovated my parents house i have done everything people my age wouldn't do but still they dont think i'm responsible enough.

sorry to be long and give you stress so early in the morning.

your responses will be highly appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Answered the other time you posted this question.
Is it that he doesn't appreciate you at all ? Or is he unskilled at showing his appreciation in ways you can understand and appreciate in turn ? Why not see a relationship counsellor together ?
On the second issue, do you need your parents to trust you ? Sounds, incidentally, as though this could, also, be a background to your sense ofg being unappreciated within the relationship, too. YOu're long past the age at which it is reasonable for you to move out on your own, and you don't need their permission, approval or applause. If after all you['ve done enough they somehow don['t think you responsible enough, that's tough for them perhaps but needn't be tough for you. Be responsible, as you apparently are, for yourself and to yourself --- theyn haven't a right to make special demands on you at this stage of your life.

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