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Question
Posted by: Zukie | 2004/02/11

I'm HIV+ & my b/f is HIV-

I'm HIV+and my boyfriend is HIV-, I was tested after the birth of my boy last year in May. and I told my boyfriend he tested twice but the result were negative, we met in 2001 since than we didn't use a condom we had unprotected sex till the birth of our baby. I'm glad he is not + but how did that happen 2001 - 2003 exactly how is that possible I'm really confussed.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageHIV Peer Forum

This does happen and reseach is looking into this matter. We do know that there are certain people that are immune to HIV for various resons. The fact of the matter is that you should be using condoms.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Danna | 2004/03/21

Thanks for the advice Jock, i really appreciate it ,it makes me feel strong again.

Reply to Danna
Posted by: Jock | 2004/03/16

Hi Guys

My story is similar to that of Danna I am +ve and my partner is -ve ,I found out three years ago and have told all the neccessary people like sister,brother,father and mother and very few friends.My advice to Danna ( I am not an excpert) please cherish what you have now and stop stressing yourself about the day you die ,if you look after yourself you can live for very long or he might die before you.Worrying causes unneccesary stress for you and that is not good for your status.

Your boyfriend loves you now and that is what matter you are living your life for now and not for next year or the year after so like me ,my boyfriend want to marry me and I am so gratefull that because I was honest from day one that I am positive and I was infected by a very jealous xboyfriend I made a resolution to love myself more each day take my ARV ,train and eat healthy and by the grace of good I found a good hearted man who loves me and me him .So in a nutshell enjoy every moment with this men and in this life of yours.

Pleeeeeease avoid stress as it has a tendency of reducing your CD 4 count

Be positive

Regards

Jock

Reply to Jock
Posted by: Danna | 2004/03/14

Hi Guys

I would like to say thank you for all the advice coming from all of you who have concerns about this matter,i for one trust very much in the almighty,i believe that we will have a cure very soon we just have to hang in there and stay positive at all times

I am a very young woman +ve,i was infected 5 years ago by someone i was going to marry.He found out he was +ve and then he left me,but i think he knew he was positve all along he just never had the courage to confide in me.

He called me two years after he had left to tell me he was diying of aids,i never had from him again,luckily i never had another affair after he had gonne.

My problem now is ,a year ago i met a wonderful man ,a man of my dreams,i love him so much ,he is -ve,i confided in him about my status after our second date,he told me he loved me and that he is going to support me all the way,he has been there for me ever since,he never cheats on me ,he says he wants to marry me ,but how do i say yes to this person when i know that one day he is going to loose me to aids?

I am still very healthy nobody even knows about my status ecxept me and him.I recently bought a house ,but my problem is i cannot enjoy my house b'cos half of a time i keep having nightmares thinking that one day i'm going to die and leave my beuatiful house,and my my loving boyfriend,i keep thinking that i am going to break his heart or ruin his life.

I am very stressed please help!


Reply to Danna
Posted by: carriers | 2004/02/24

I've heard that other people are HIV carriers, as in they'll sleep with an HIV + person and go on an infect another without them testing HIV +. And I thought that is not fair I don't know how true this is, does anyone know?

Reply to carriers
Posted by: Zukie | 2004/02/12

Thanks to evryone for your response. My baby is fine and heathly but I'm still waiting for his results they will be coming out on Saterday so I'll inform you on Monday. To the Brother who is negative pls stay will your partner & grow old with her, at least you two now each other better, Don't lay your eyes to any girl now because some are so selfish they will infect you trtying to get back on their b/f which is unfair.

Life is so precious, God knows why there is such a desease, I reckon he's trying to test our faith in Him, If we believe He is above we will survive.

To all the Ladies, lets be faithfully to God & to our parner, If your partner doesn't treat you well because of your status, just love yourself , be in love with yourself, your are important to God you are living for the resean. Never be too angry with anyone , just say I've been targeted by God he will take care of me.

Reply to Zukie
Posted by: GP | 2004/02/12

Mzwandile it is not true that -ve men do not tolerate +ve partners, I would not leave my partner simply because she is hiv+, I think we should be sympathetic and supportive towards our partners and educate ourselves about this dreaded disease. I know it is not easy but one has to come to terms with the situations like this. In my case when my girl-friend find out she is +ve, she was 100% convinced that I infected her, only to find later that It was her former boyfriend. So guys this thing can happen to anyone anyhow.

Reply to GP
Posted by: Mzwandile | 2004/02/12

This is fascinating indeed. The way I look at things, it is easier for - women to tolerate + partners than hiv- men tolerating HIV + partners. We men are not fair and true to ourselves. GP, please support her all the way. I just don't know how are you going to cope with your sex life if you hate condoms, or have to be 100% careful all the time, with that doubt at the back of your mind. Stay strong bro and stay HIV negative, you have a second chance now don't blow it away.

Reply to Mzwandile
Posted by: GP | 2004/02/11

I would also like to share my story with you guys, my girl-friend and I have been together for over two years, she fell pregnant and she tested +ve, I went to do the test also and the results are -ve, it causes a lot of confusion between us because I wanted to know how did she got infected, after so much soul searching her former boy-friend confessed that he infected her, apparently he found out after they broke-up and what upset me most is that the bastard never care to inform her of his status, as a result I'm taking it very badly and though I tested -ve the stress is taking its toll on me only God knows why I was not infected.

Reply to GP
Posted by: Butterfly | 2004/02/11

Zukie there are many stories like yours, mine for instance I am - and my hubby is + to top it all I only found out about this after he got the shingles a week before the birth of our son, oh yes he had known all along how long I never bothered to ask. I am not angry with him infact I am the one who reads this forum so often just to keep up with what is happening and I do learn a lot.

From the intial time I found out I've gone for 3 test with my GP who is fully aware of my hubby's status and he told me that the test is done at the lab my test were conducted over a 3 month break each.

I my hubby is on treatment and our life is back to normal but like one person said on this forum people with HIV are more at peace with themselves then those who do not I do get worried that is why I keep getting tested, yes I am a professional person and have a good job it is because of love that I stay with him and all is forgiven otherwise why was I spared, just because he has a virus it does not mean he is going to die before me I drive to work everyday and I am an active member of a dangerous sport anything can happen to me unless I am carefull to sum it up I am very carefull in everything I do and the only time that my hubby is made aware of his condition is when it is time for his med.

I also would like to hear a medical explanation of what might have happened, but on the other hand I do not why should I know I am lucky to have been spared so that I can be here and healthy enough to look after my hubby and watch our son grow although I still do wish this should not happened to anyone to start with.

Zukie I hope you partner sticks by you that is what will keep you strong and there are many negative people who are willing to help little get said about them and what they have to go through.

To me what you have is not different from any other cancers the only diference is with HIV you can prevent it from harming those you love and care for and with the other form of cancers it's all in God's hand.

People please pray it really helps, it has kept me and my hubby togather when we both thought we were losing each other. He thought the virus would drive me away from him and I thought the virus was taking him away from me but with God's grace we are still togather and we have gained one thing that is a previous treasure to have nowadays a child and with rate that things are going this is going to be my only child

I SAY WE PRAY.

I hope this does not encourage people to think that there is hope of not infecting your partner because there is no such thing, do not harm the angles that are suppose to help you in time of need. They will not fly away the virus is on every turn. USE A CONDOM.



Reply to Butterfly
Posted by: Mzwandile | 2004/02/11

It is still too unbelievable to believe really. I can't imagine how it can happen. Zukie, are you sure you didn't sleep with anyone else even with a condom? Maybe there's more into this virus than people think.

Reply to Mzwandile
Posted by: malaika | 2004/02/11

Wow Zukie
Yours is an amazing story.I don't think his tests were false.It does happen that some people do not seroconvert.He must be a very lucky guy!!!How is he taking your status?I hope he is being supportive of you and the baby.How is the baby?I have heard of a couple that were together for 7 years before finding out that only one of them was +(the woman).It really does happen.Can you recall how long ago you might have been infected?It must have been in a previous relationship coz if your b/f is neg then he didn't infect you.Sorry for asking so many questions but i really think your experience is one of a kind.I know that you must be disappointed but you will get better evryday.Just be positive and live positively.I will keep you in my prayers.Best Wishes.

Reply to malaika
Posted by: yebo | 2004/02/11

According to the pathologists there are reasons for false negative/positive results. I am not saying that your boyfreind is showing a false negative. False negative could be as a result of the following

1. A possible laboratry error if done through the laboratry(these tests still needs the involvement of humans to conduct them) however this would normally be your ELISA which is 99.999% accurate and according to the pathologist these tests are very sensitive infact they are more likely to produce false positve and less that 1% false negative

2. The rapid test could have not been strong eneough (liquid used in the test) to give a responsive reading. Remember that Rapid tests are not 100% accurate.

3. In both rapid and elisa, these tests looks for antibodies and these emerge after a window period which could be anything between 4 weeks and 6 months depending on the period taken to seroconvert and the resposniveness of your immune system.

4. Unlike the rapid and elisa tests, the PRC test is DNA based in otherwords it looks for the virus itself in the blood. The doctors claim that this is the most reliable test ever and whatever results are, they must be read as conclusive.

Perhaps your boyfriend was just not infected and It is mentioned that a negative person who was exposed to HIV does not neccesarily have to be infected. One has to understand the science behind the infection process.

By the way is your baby infected?

I am however not trying to scare people here this is just what I have learnt during my

Reply to yebo
Posted by: Zukie | 2004/02/11

Although I'm not sure what kind but I ask for the certificate annd I saw he was negative. Can you explain what the difference btwn the two tests.

Reply to Zukie
Posted by: yebo | 2004/02/11

What kind of tests did your boyfreind take.

Was it a RAPID TEST?
ELISA TEST? or
PCR?

Reply to yebo

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