Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hello again Pulse, thanks for this post and oh dear your life certainly sounds quite complicated at the moment.
OK so the hubbie is bi and you've been doing the suicide-thing "...so that he can be happy?" Speaking frankly, this sounds like total crap - you're playing the "poor me", ultra-pathetic victim role. Maybe because you're petrified of feeling rejected or abandoned.
You have a bipolar disorder. Which may sound worse than it is and I doubt you can attribute all your hassles to this. You're feeling depressed and would rather be feeling manic, or euphoric... which is probably understandable. I'd also rather be on a high than be depressed but let's be realistic - surely you'd rather just be the real you? The sadness in your post stems from the fact that you seem to think that your boyfriend is worth hanging on to at all costs. You're prepared to stop taking your meds for him.....? I'm in favour of using technology to meet our needs - you're using a computer and the Internet right now - and medication is merely another form of technology. Make it work for you.
Take stock of what's really in your interests and what's best for your CHILD.
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