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Question
Posted by: Lee | 2008/05/21

I'm back and worse than ever

Hi CS,

had a major fight with my husband last night, reason being:

Monday night i wanted to make love and he turned me down, tuesday morning he wanted it but i was running really late and had to get our child to school. So last night he snapped.

I said to him he has to compromise it's not all about when he wants it, it's also about when i want it.

He then started accusing me of having an affair. He broke glasses, light fittings threw things around, surprised i even have a kitchen left.

He started blaming me for his divorce 11 years ago, i wasn't the one that left his wife, he said if i had never met him while he was clubbing he still would have been happily married. Why am i to blame, he never told me for months that he was married.

He took away my phone and said he wants to keep it for a day to see who calls me and see what's going on with me and who i'm messing around with, i told him he can have my phone as i've got nothing to hide from him.

I want to leave but have become so dependant on him for everything. I am also scared of being on my own and what my daughter will have to go through. She asked me this morning why there was smashed glass all over the floor and i told her to ask her dad, was this the right thing to say?

I'm scared of telling my parents, i don't know why!!!!

I need so much strength to get through all of this, and i just don't have it.

i want to tell my mom, but she's so happy at the moment planning things for my brothers wedding.

I can't afford a place on my own for at least a month or two, but won't be able to while living with my husband as i won't be able to savee enough.

Please help......

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Amazing, isn't it, how a guy who went out clubbing and failed to heal his unhappy marriage, is prepared to blame you for meeting him at a club, and giving you full responsibility for all the decisions he freelly chose to make.
Don't be scared to tell your parents what has been happening --- do you hesitate, perhaps, because your parents were against this relationship, and you don't want to admit to them that maybe they were right to have doubts ? Surely your mom would want to help, and would in turn app[reciate your help for her in the preparations for your brother's wedding ?
COnsider calling POWA which helps and advises abused women and their children, too.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/21

if you love him then get some counceling. if u feel it will do no good then move out, if not for yourself, do it for ur child. she doesnt deserve to have to go up in an abusive and violent home. your parents love u and they will welcome you in their home im sure. no loving parent wants harm to come to thier children.

Reply to almost mad

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