Posted by: Amber | 2007/12/03

I was to get married

I am 26,since i was in my late teen i had many sirious marriage proposals. I didn't give a danm coz I thought i was like my mom. she had so many marriage proposals even today(she is 46) she got married when she was then she was discouraging me on get married at a younger age. she wanted me to concentrate on my career.the problem now is that i want to get merried and my boyfriend has just started working.after along & hard work(study) he's alwayz been singing this song of making me his wife & still is but know for next yr his talking about spoiling him self & i after a long study,he's talking about cars, he is talking about us travelling enjoying ourselves but I don't want all that - all i want is to get married. i want a baby& a husband and I am desparate. i never wished to have a child out of wedlock but the way things are going i will. he also want a baby he knows my menstrual dayz more than i do. i don't want him to see how deparate i am but i want him to change his priorities. i don't want to turn 30 without a family(husband&child). please advise.

all my friends are getting married next year - im left alone in such a way that i nolonger have anything to talk about when with them coz they alwayz talk about the fact that they are getting married and i can't lie and say im also getting married where as i know that im not. i wish i got married long time ago.

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Our expert says:
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Its generally a good idea not to rush into marriage, agreed. Why are you now so anxious to get married, and not to work on developing your career ? What will you lose by waiting a while ? What's the hurry for ? Why on earth are you feeling "desperate" about this ? Why this sense of such extreme urgency to have a baby ? It sounds as though you feel in some ways in competition with your friends, and left out as they marry and have babies, and you haven't taken that step yet. Seeing a counsellor might help you to clarify ALL your long-term goals, and not to compromise some or all of them by becoming unnecessarily desperate and hurried about this. <br>

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Our users say:
Posted by: Thiboz | 2008/04/22

Hi. I have got a friend whom i regard him as a best friend, he gets a nervous disorder in a calm environment. In the beginning he didn't want to talk about so i am getting worried and i need to do something to help.
Is there way or some kind of medication that he can take to stop that from happening.
Please advise.

Reply to Thiboz
Posted by: Dave | 2007/12/04

Only fools rush in......

why compete with them? They are who they are, they have their life, and they have their own dreams, visions and objectives in life. You want to let go of yours and pursue theirs? Be yourself naturally.

My ex wife rushed into marriage due to pressure, peer pressure. She couldn't last in marriage, because that too has its own responsibilities, challenges, issues and demands (commitment, behaviour etc). All ladies in your type of space are always intending really, is they wish for the wedding day. Beyond the wedding day, there is a whole life ahead to live as a married woman. My ex wanted to party and jol and to delegate the parental and marital roles. It does not work like that.

Are you sure you've got your ducks in the row?

Reply to Dave

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