Posted by: Normal ! | 2008/09/29

I want sex everyday but she says no!

Hey forum: I just want to know, if a guy wants sex everyday due to the fact that he knows that his girl is hot, it there a problem with that? But she says no and 1 or twice a week is good enough for her........It is just that she is so freaking hot that she gives me hardons and makes me feel so alive inside everytime we just talk on the phone and when I am near her! I hev tried to tell her what she does to me and how I feel about her but she says that all guys only thinks with there c_cks so she doesn' t believe me???? Is it me that is wrong or her or US? Now I have seen people complaining about sex 7 times a day and then I have seen people complaining not getting it at all??? I am normal or is relationship in a nor just so difficult and sex confusing?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This sounds quite normal - and is illustrating quite clearly some of the differences between men and women! It is entirely normal from your perspective given what sounds to be quite typical levels of desire (and particularly so given your feelings for her), but her response also sounds normal given how you sometimes talk about her. In addition to saying wonderful things like how alive she makes you feel, you seem to talk about her in quite a sexual way (e.g. 'she gives me hardons'). Many women get quite switched off by talk like this as it makes them feel that you view them as 'sexual objects'; this in turn will diminish their desire. One of the tragedies of heterosexual relationships (or maybe just relationships, but it is exacerbated between men and women) is that they often 'speak different languages' even if the end message is the same. You're telling her how attractive you find her, she's hearing you want to have sex. Even if this is true, that you want to have sex, you need to express more of the emotional stuff. Try using less sexual talk, she'll know that you are turned on, but tell her more about what she means to you, how else she makes you feel. If you also show her how you are caring for her feelings by not being so sexually oriented - however - you are still likely to be frustrated as the male libido is often higher than the females. The best bet in such a circumstance to try to maximise her libido (quality of relationship, etc), negotiate reasonable compromise (e.g. she stimulates you in some way, or you can stimulate yourself with her there), and then managing the shortfall - I have never known a man to die of sexual frustration...

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Our users say:
Posted by: baby kay | 2008/10/01

i am young still and engaged..
My fiancee to just wants to have sex 24/7 and his excuse is the same as yours and there are more such as if you die today at least i got the last ect..i then came to a conclusion that i am only good enough for one thing and that is sex!i spoke to him about it, he got al mad and then started saying when he has sex with me its because he loves me!!Sex isnt about how pretty or beautiful or hot she is!Sex is about love and making love!
i seriously know how it feels to be felt like a sex toy!
You need to talk to here in a good way meaning nothing sexual!
Trying cuddling or something to rather than just sex!!

Reply to baby kay
Posted by: Sg | 2008/09/29

Sex is confusing as we all have different sex drives and needs.The trick is either to find someone that is the same as you or for the 2 of you to meet somewhere in the middle.
It can very frustrating for the one partner that wants it more but the partner doesn' t need it as much.This often leads to other issues in the relationship.
If you are experiencing these issues now already,imagine what could happen once you are married.
Sex is not everything but crickey it is a huge part in a happy relationship.

Reply to Sg

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