Posted by: tara | 2008/07/06

i trust no one

hi am battling with some heavy emotions for close to a year now, the heaviest seems to be the feeling of being able to trust absolutely no one.

You trust a man he treats u like dirt you trust a family member they take advantage of you, you trust a friend they gossip about you, you trust a job you suddenly lose it.

I have lost hope and faith in humanity and feel all goodness and happiness in life is being channeled away from me by i don't know what or who. I have a young child and if it weren't for her would have taken my life by now, there is nothing but her to live for. i am a single parent

To preserve myself i truly do not trust anyone, to the extent that i cannot even contemplate visiting a counsellor as i believe they would share information about my problems with someone else. Even tho they are not supposed to do this, because it is me they would do it. Because it is me, a man will not love me yet he is fully capable of love. Because it is me, i apply for a job and do not get it. I feel as tho i am living in a tiny black box with very little oxygen in it.

pls advise.

very very depressed


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Have you noticed how easily we swing from one extreme position to another ? We may start by being exceedingly trusting, expecting people to treat us well ; then, after a really bad experience, we may respond by trusting nobody. Both positions are unhelpful --- not everyone ought to be trusted --- or mistrusted. So it becomes a matter of getting things into perspective --- and that's where counselling can help a lot.
I understand your concern about a counsellor, but your fears there may be unrealistic. They have strong professional ethical rules about not gossipping or talking about any ibndividual they are treating, and also they're usually weary enough of office problems not to want to bring them into private conversation. If puzzled by a problem they encounter professionally, a shrink / counsellor MIGHT possibly, with a fellow shrink, raise the particular issue, without revealing the identify of the patient, to seek advice and ideas from a fellow-professional, but that wouild not be done in such a way as to breach your confidentiality.
ANd notice, too, how you express a rather low opinion of yourself in some ways, but an almost grandiose idea that somehow for you specifically, all professionals would make a special exception to their rules and habits, so as to gossip about you ?
The sad truth ( and I have been through a period of years of terrible experiences and lousy luck, too ) is that we are none of us so special, and though we may have a series of experiences of bad luck, nobody will notice us enough to try and foul things up just because it's us.
DO, please, see a good local shrink for assessment and advice --- you deserve it and so does your child. Depression is a nasty condition, but responds very well to treatment both with CBT style counselling, and with antidepressant and similar medications

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