Posted by: Anon | 2008/10/30

I think i hate my husband

I cut this from the parenting Site, coz i need all the advise i can get.
I think this might be a bit long. DH is a real B. He is tormenting me and i cannot go on.OK i know i need to divorce,but i have NO money coz he sucked me dry,I have NO where to go to,like fam. I have 2 children, one at school and one 2yrs old. They both hectic, so i need a place of my own coz they will drive other people INSANE. He hits the 2 yr old everyday coz she'  s naughty,well she is, but why hit her.When i talk to him about it,he acts like a child and than his lips hang and he will not even touch the baby,won'  t talk to me, or no one in the house (in afrikaans-VERMAAK). I am earning more than him, he was in and out of a job, so money wasn'  t too nice.When he works, he give the impression to say "  I AM THE MAN"  , question every cent i spend.BUT... main problem, i am scared of him, literally scared. He said he will kill me if I leave him. He is VERY aggressive ok. He is unreasonable we can’  t have a adult to adult conversation. He takes things I tell him personal. Maybe if I say I think you should change your attitude towards other people, (of which he should), he will tell me about my BAD things. He doesn’  t respect people he feels he needs NO ONE. No one come visit us, coz no one really likes him, I was outgoing, bubbly and what not, but since I’  m with him, I am someone else. I can’  t go nowhere without him, coz maybe I am seeing someone else in the private, he always think bad things. When he phone me at work and I don’  t answer, he start to interrogate me. My eldest is not his, and he is sometimes SO rude to her (14 yrs). He puts her life also under pressure, do this, do that, go to bed and what not, but he can’  t do it in a decent way. The minute I open my mouth, than he say I don’  t want to hear nothing about her. Than the lips HANG, easily for day. Ag I am so unhappy. I really feel I cannot go on with this marriage, but have no idea what to do from here. No money, No support, lekker naughty children. Please what do I do.

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Our expert says:
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If you are being abused, call an agency like POWA that helps advise abused women, and can help you to plan a safe departure and divorce. If you earn the largest amount, there should be a way you can afford to leave and support yourself and the child. If you are earning well, how is it that you say you have "no money " ?
If you have reason to expect violence from him, discuss thisn with POWA, and you can get a restraining order against him from the magistrate's court, and he would go to jail if he further threatened you or failed to stay well away from you.

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