Posted by: mark elliott - durban | 2009/06/05

I suggest a new blog

i think it would be a great idea to get a blog going for divorcees to discuss issues such as bitterness between divorced parents and the emotional effects it has on children and what can be done about it legally - my personal experience is that my ex wife did everything humanly possible to block me from having a relationship with my children and has poisoned their minds so baddly against me that I am concerned about their emotional state. I hav found that the courtsare more on the womans side and there is so much focus on PAY maintenance but there is no concentration or focus from the courts on the CHILDREN and what they want or should get - my kids initially wanted to have a relationship with me but pressure and brain washing from my ex forsed my kids into basically writing me off to keep mom happy

bitter divorce and the resulting break up of child relations with both parents is not restricted to bitter women interfearing with father relationships, we have a friend where it is the other way arround where the ex husband has instigated total hatered and bitterness from the children towards their mother so much so that the kids just dont want to know her at all

there should be more focus from the law against this abused child and abused parent or a body of legal representatives and councellors that can assist the innocent parents and innocent kids - where can get advice, councelling, protection from abuse, visitation rights etc

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Our expert says:
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Hi Marke,
Good idea. Have you checked out our Divorce Support Forum . Expert elsewhere in H24 ? Or
SADSA | The South African Divorce Support Association ? We have a story featured on the front page today about how the squabbling of divorce can harm kids.
It is wicked how some divorcees sem to shape their lives around revenge and hurting their ex, rather than (a) moving on with their own lives, and (b) avoding the damage this causes to the kids. I dont handle these legal issues, but I understand that SA law has in some ways moved a bit more in the direction of recognizing the father's rights expecially access to his kids. Its probably wise that they disconnected issues of acces and maintenance, but both of these should be decided both fairly and with concern for the best interests of the children.
Maybe the law should be more ready to recognize the vindictive and abusive Ex.
Do heck out our other forum, and DASA --- and let me know what you think of SADSA as a possible source of help on these issues.

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