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Question
Posted by: supergirl | 2004/11/25

i stiil miss him

i once fell in love with a wonderful man who loved me unconditionally, when we were still together he made sure i get anything i wanted and he used to drive a long distance from his home to mine i mean many killos to see me, we were supposed to have been angaged in 2001 but then his work orderd him to be japan for two months from october to december.

i missed him alot when he was away, he phoned me evryday to tell me how he love me and what he's doing each day there, when he leaves he told me that we must get engaged when we come back.

the after that two months he came back but he did not talk about angagement he even stopped coming to see me, not knowing what was the problem, i asked him he told me he does not have money to come and see me. he said he missed me but did not come to see me, in fact he distnced himself from me, i thought maybe he met someone there.

after som few months i met someone who wanted to marry me, of course we fell in love and enggaged but the when i told my first b/f that i've met someone he just it means it's being along time that iwas cheating but i said no, the reason i do it is because he distance himself form me.
i told me he will always love me and that's where he decided he wants to come and visit me, but i told him no ways we can see each other coz i met someone, but to tell the truth i loved him so much that i was also hurting so much.. he said whenever i need him i must tell him, even if things go wrong one day he will be there for me,

so now hes married and i'm married, and i have a problem with my hubby he does not treat me good, i really miss my first b/f, he was everything to me he never gave me a problem even a single day, we loved each other so much that we cried when we say our last goobyes.

so now i' m afried to call him coz he's married i don't want to hurt his wife how do i talk to him or i'll be doing the most mistake of life, everyday i look at the phone as if i can pick it and call him, he has my number i have his.

please advice before i make a fool of myself,!!!!!!!!

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Our expert says:
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J is right--- se a marriage counsellor with your husband, and sort out the marriage you have, rather than the one you don't have.

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Our users say:
Posted by: reena | 2004/11/26

Dear supergirl

You are idiolizing a romantic link that is of the past. The grass is not always greener on the other side. He could be happy married with his wife. I idiolized an old boyfriend for years. Till I saw him in the street one day. He was not the same person that I used to know. He was around the block a few times. Cheating on his wife, rumours of beating her while he made the impression that he was a succesfull bussinessman Then I realize that I have been chasing a ghost for years. I realize what I have in my husband with all his faults and I adore him even more and that I was spare (Thanks God) from the other man. Superg, it is a womans nature that as soon as a problem starts in a marriage that she will always romatisize the good times. Work on your marriage. Only you can make the choice of being happy or not. It is worth the try.
Good luck

Reply to reena
Posted by: Supergirl | 2004/11/25

Thanx guys, i don't know what i'll do without your sugestion, i'll take all your opinions, thanx so much

Reply to Supergirl
Posted by: Zee | 2004/11/25

I agree with J. Ur ex will feel like you are using him as his second best, now that u see that grass is not greener on the other side.

Besides what do u want him to do, To leave his wife now that u are stucked. Please try to be fair , and have a sense of humour. You seem to be a nice person, and Please just do a right thing. Dont let desperation to make you make wrong decision.

Try and work on ur marriage.

aLL THE BEST

Reply to Zee
Posted by: J | 2004/11/25

Hi S

Here's the deal...Why dont you and your current husband sit down and look at solving the problems within your marriage, maybe with the assistance of a marriage counsellor?
This should keep you busy enough not to think of your ex-boyfriend. You made the choice to marry someone else and clearly so has your ex.
Focus on communicating with your husband and work on your marriage.This will save you from hurting your husband by getting involved with your ex.Not to mention the hurt you will cause your ex's wife by trying to break up their marriage. You're not even sure if your ex wants to see you?!

You are right, dont make a fool of yourself by calling him.

Reply to J

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