Posted by: very depresed | 2005/12/09

I really miss him

Hi, I met a guy about 4 months back & when I met him I was already pregnant, at the tym I thought he was the cutest & sweetest guy Iv ever seen. He never seemed to mind that I wasnt carrying his child, I asked him if he had a GF he said no & he dump the father of my child for him, (he just wasnt do it 4 me, de luv had been gone 4 quite a while) claiming that he loved me so much. We used to go out alot, he would always cum & see me almost everyday, everything was perfect. The trouble started when my tummy started to grow, I started finding pictures in his house & he didnt even bother hiding them, & then the other day I found a womans night dress,& a make up, & when I asked him y he was with me becoz he has a girlfriend, he just replied y r u with me becoz u know I have a girlfriend, so i just told him lets call it quits, just becoz Im pregnant doesnt mean dat Im desparate & he should show me that he is using me, the least dat he could do is hide the things when Im there, he acts like he is doing me a favour by being with me. And sometyms he used to dissapear 4 days & not even call & then he just shows up & sweet talks me into going to his place so dat he can make love to me & I dont wanna go but I cant refuse, I love him so much. I havent seen him for weeks now & he doesnt even bother to call, (I miss him so much, the thing is he is so good in bed) he is just gonna show up 1 day & take me to his place & I cant seem to say no. After making love to him I feel like I hate him more & more but if he wants to do it again I cant say no. What is wrong with me, y am I so in love with this man who doesnt even try to hide it dat he is using me? Im stressing so mush & its not good for my unborn & the fact dat his father wants nothing to do with me is not helping? I wish I knew wat I can do to resist this man! Advice would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, v.d., unles he is a secretive cross-dresser, and the makeup and nightdress are perhaps his, it does sound as though he is really involved with this other woman, and not that into you. Either way, if he has been deceiving you, in what way does he deserve your love ? You seem to recognize that you are being used --- so why don't you allow yourself to stop it ? there are other men you could date who would certainly treat you with more respect and affection and not use you --- why do you feel so desperate that you have to cling to this guy ? You CAN resist this guy's highly dubious charms --- who do you think so very little of yourself that you choose to continue to put up with this ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/09

Very Depressed, the first thing that you must realize is that while you are pregnant your hormones are going haywire. To tell you to just forget about him and your ex is not going to be any consilation at this point. But you must remember that yours and your baby's health and well-being are paramount at this point. If he is sleeping around and then coming to you, you are putting both you and your child's health at risk. Emotionally, you will, in time, get over it. I am just worried about the physical side of things for you at this stage. You have to consider that even if your baby is born healthy, you have to be even more healthy to look after it and care for it.

Concentrate on yourself and your baby for now, and when you are back on your feet, then deal with this man.

Keep healthy.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: Peter Pan | 2005/12/09

Hi Very Depressed

I understand how you feel and its not easy to be in love with someone, there is nothing wrong with you, your heart choses who you fall in love with. I suggest you work on loving yourselve more, concentrate on your baby and accept that you cannot deal with this alone, speak to a friend or two about your situation, talk to them cry all you want but I beg of you to talk to someone as often as you can. You are not alone there are some people on thsi forum with some terrible situations. I can only share with you what happened to me. I have loved three times in my life, everytime they broke with me I was devasted, but everytime a fell in love agin my love was stronger for the new person. Today I am so happy to have found real love. There are many great guys out there that will fall in love with you despite being pregnant. I fell in love with someone who has two kids both of whom were 6 and 10 yrs old, my partner last everything throgh the divorce he was financially ruined and had no work for three years and then we met, today we have everything our hearts could have desired.

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