Our expert says:
OK, this is a realyl bad habit, but not really an addiction. As you'll ee if you carefully check out the archives of this forum, we have discussed many aspects of this issue of porn itself many times, and you may find some of the previous discusions useful for you. I'm not sure what it would feel like to "feel gay" other than in the focus of your sexual interests and what images and fantasies truly arouse you. But if your main interest and area of arousal with online porn is gay, this does suggest that you are ( if also aroused by and interested in women ) bisexual.
It would be a really good idea for you to see a good local counsellor, to explore these issues further and to achieve a better level of understanding of yourself.
A counsellor would not be there to "tell you what you already know", but to help you understand it, examine your alternatives and their potential consequences, make the best available decision about the best way forward, and help you to plan and achieve whatever goals you set yourself within the counselling process.
And if there are truths that you want to deny and not accept, it may be even more important to work with such a counsellor to accept what the truth is, and plan the best way to deal with that. As for your wife, you may well LOVE her emotionally, without really desiring her sexually.
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