Posted by: Sunny | 2005/11/25

I need some TLC!

The last month has been sooo busy at work that I havent had any quality alone time with my guy. The occasional one or two nights a week ended up in both of us being sleepy and passing out at 9pm already. We usually see each other 1 night a week and 2 nights in the weekend, I only have 2 weekends off in a month, so we usually spend those saturday/sunday days together. Now my last off weekend, he had a fishing competition on the sunday, so we only spent the saturday together. Now my second off weekend for this month we have a work function on saturday day (entertaining some clients - we work for the same company) and Sunday he has organized a round of golf from 12pm onwards. Im resenting him for not making sure he at least leaves sunday so we can spend some alone time as the last couple of friday and saturday nights we had either a farewell party or a birthday party to attend together, which doesnt count for alone quality time!
He thinks im being unfair, help me understand who is being unfrair here? Must I just get a life, am i being to selfish and demanding by being a bit pee'd off for him booking the sunday golf?
I just spoke to him now and said i need some time to think and cool-off.
Who's right, who's wrong??

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't we all, Sunny ! ( need TLC, that is !)
I think a real problem these days is that we have unrealistically high expectations for many things such as how much quality time we can simply spend with our pals or loved ones. And there seems to be a much increased expectation for time to be spent exclusively together, and an assumtpion that everything each of you does, ought to be done together. That really can be too much of a good thing.
It's like holidays. When I was young ( back in the last century !) Most people couldn't afford to go away on holiday, and the lucky few that did, got away once in the year. Now many people seem to expect to go away in every school holiday, and every long week, and then some more.
As ... says, nobody's right or wrong here, but your expectations sound different, and that needs negotiation, not treatment.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ... | 2005/11/25

it's not about who is right or wrong... it's about having different needs and different expectations... maybe this month things have gone a bit off track and you haven't had much alone time, but chat to him about what you need and expect... so that in future he could plan his golf for the weekends you work... also, expect that there will be times when your schedules clash... if there is a pattern where he never makes an effort to spend alone time with you then you'd need to take it further... but for now, don't make a big deal out of it... cos by the time you do get to have that alone time you're going to be moody and miserable and none of you will enjoy it anyway...
let him go enjoy his golf... and you do something fun whilst he is gone and then meet up with each other after that....

Reply to ...

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.