Posted by: Bon Bon | 2008/09/02

I need help with my life decision

Im dating a guy with a 1 year old child, the problem is his ex the mother of the child is always causing us to fight. i cant go with him to fetch his child cause i get chased off the property but her boyfriend comes to our house.. how do i not let her get the best of me and not let her come between me and my boyfriend..she makes me feel so insecure..

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Our expert says:
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Firstly there needs to be a conversation between you and your partner about what should happen and find ways of the two of you presenting a united front where his ex is concerned, and let him know how it makes you feel. The issues of insecurity you will need to deal with yourself, because the mother of his child will always be there because of his child, and he will need to interact with her about them. Therefore it is about coming to terms with her presence and equally she will have to become used to your presence in his life.

Rather than feeling and thinking about how you have to compete, consider what is good about your relationship and build on it.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Bon bon | 2008/09/05

Thanks Batty and im 17.. his 20. i suppose you right thamks ill try that cause i know i have to find the happy me again. i do love him alot and were practically best of friends. Im a very sensitive person when it comes to people being nasty because im a lover not a fighter. but your very right

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Posted by: Batty | 2008/09/02

Bon Bon, if I may ask, how old are you. No one is this world should be allowed to make you feel insecure. If anything, she is the insecure one, because she feels the need to make you feel insecure.
Unfortunately you have to realize that she will always be in the picture and theres no getting rid of her. You just have to find the strenghth to put up with her. Theres no need for you to go with your bf to fetch his baby, rather let him go alone and then you can see him afterwards, or maybe wait outside for him. Its not worth being aroundnegative people, so if you can avoid seeing her, then do it.
If the love between you and your boyfriend is strong enough, she will never be able to come between the two of you.

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