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Question
Posted by: Carma | 2006/11/13

I need help

I am having an affair with my boss.To me it is not really an affair, coz I am not taken - and probably never will be. But he has a wife and two kidz...The people I work with are starting to notice that we spend almost all our time together.We have braais, I take him to the hairdresser, I look after his kids when he is on holiday.....I dont know what to do anymore.I deseperetaly want to be with him all the time, and I think he feels the same way.... I think I should just tell his wife about us, so that she can leave him... And then he is all mine...... :)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Carma, ever heard of karma ? He's using you, and if he had wanted to be "all yours" he already would have left and divorced his wife, and would already be "yours". He wants you, as they used to say in the old days, as " a little bit of fluff on the side". You seem happy to hurt his innocent wife and children, just for your own selfish pleasure ? Don't expect to find happiness that way.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Carma | 2006/11/14

I dont care what you all say.I will keep on doing him for as long as I like. I know that deep down inside of him he loves me!!!!! And you all saying this to me, just made me realise how much I still love and need him.

Reply to Carma
Posted by: Echelle | 2006/11/14

Why did you get involve with this man in the first place? You knew he was married and you should have had respect for his wife! Leave him alone, he already has a woman and it's not you! So move on with your life and find a man that is single and find another job!

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Michelle | 2006/11/14

My dear girl,

This man will never be all yours, even if he does leave his wife. He will always belong to his kids.
To him you are an easy lay, and a portable baby-sitter.
You do realise that because people at work are starting to pick up on it, you are screwing up your own life. You are going to miss out on opportunities at work because of favouritism, hell, you might even lose your job.
Is all of this worth it for some fogey?
To tell you the honest truth, the likelyhood of him leaving his family, a stable home, for you, well, it is a no-brainer. It won't happen. Even if by some chance it does happen, what's to say, he won't move on after he gets bored of you?
Think very carefully, office relationships, especially with a married boss, never work out. And you are just creating a very bad name for yourself.
Picture this at your next job interview; "Why were you released from your previous position?" "Oh, I got a little too up-close and personal with the boss".
You are throwing your name away as a professional and as a woman.
Think about it, and I hope you can make the right decision.

Reply to Michelle
Posted by: ... | 2006/11/13

a husband hardly leaves his wife for the mistress ... dont tell his wife u will have no lover maybe no job ... his wife will maybe forgive him .. you are the one that will end up loosing alot .. its not your place to tell his wife anything.... just end it and thats it ... u can never mix business and pleasure .. very dangerous game

Reply to ...
Posted by: Nia | 2006/11/13

Carma. This man is married, with two kids. Do you really want to be responsible for the hurt of 3 people (his kids and his wife) and ruining their lifes? And best of all - your hurt and his hurt will only come later, but much worse than you think. You will never be happy together. Relationships that are built on hurt and deception and mistrust cannot last.

Leave this man alone.

Reply to Nia
Posted by: SR | 2006/11/13

Carma = The problem is that he will not be yours. If this were the case he would have made his decision a long long time ago. What is your gut feel about his feelings towards you? What makes you think his wife is going to leave without putting up a fight? Do you also realise that you stand a chance of losing your job in all of this? Remember he has a foundation, a family, a marriage, a lifestyle ..... all of this will be gone with the divorce.

If you cannot get him, will you ruin him , pursue this further?

Reply to SR

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