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Question
Posted by: ? | 2006/11/10

I need help

My husband cheated on me several times and he also beat me sometimes. I am not sure whether I forgave him or I don’t want touch the subject but this things really affects me. Every little thing triggers the anger. I go on everyday as if nothing happened but inside I am slowly dying. I am not excited about life anymore. The things that used to matter to me don’t mean anything now, like my work,family,friends. I am really unhappy. I want to get the trust back for him,but it is so difficult. Can someone tell me what I need to do. I am getting drunk everyday in order to sleep and not think of these things, or overdose myself with painkiller. I am just hoping one day these pills will kill me. I have a 10months old baby with him and its like everything gets difficult. I tried counselling but didn’t work for me.
Please help me I am so depressed.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Counselling, especially of the CBT format, ought to be helpful --- maybe what you experienced when you tried counselling was with the wrong counsellor or the wrong method, or both ? It sounds as though you may be developing a Depression, and the drinking will only make the depression worse and undermine any possible benefits of treatment, and the painillers ought to be avoided and you should have none in the house ( and don't combine them with alcohol ). When you mention a 10-month-old baby, this could be a Post-Natal Depression, too. DO see a good local shrink for a proper assessment, and then a discussion of treatment options, based on the results of the assessment.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: T | 2006/11/10

Can u go to someone u can stay for a while while u sort out the divorce.
What has happened to u is really bad.He punched u that u have scares and u have the pics.U tell the pice that u fear for ur life and that allu wqant is him out of ur life and if possible can u stay in ur own home he can find himself somewhere else to stay.
U didnt mension how bad these things are and they are really bad.U need to go and leave him.
Dont hestitate just get going wit ur life.
Be strong for baby coz u dont want to live in fear all ur life....
pls let us know how things are.
do u work,can u manage wit out him...
i know u can but i mean financially

Reply to T
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/10

listen babes what the hell are you feeling so bad about not trusting him for get the divorce and move on, he is a lying cheating pig that beats you, why wait around for him to do it again.

Reply to kat
Posted by: ? | 2006/11/10

I am thinking of getting a divorce but I know if I raise that he will beat me. I am left with no choice but to lay charges on him today, because I do have a scar on top my eye from him punching me. Please advice I am really scared of doing this but I feel I have no choice, just yesterday when I tried to kiss him a long hair came out of his mouth. I shave my hair off, where else could he get that from?
He punched me 2 weeks ago and I didn’t tell anybody but I did take pictures then.
Will police station believe me? I think it’s about time he pay for his mistakes.

Reply to ?
Posted by: ? | 2006/11/10

can I get it without going through the lawyers?
How long does the process take?

Reply to ?
Posted by: T | 2006/11/10

I know what u going through.
U need to pick ur self up girl.U have a beautiful and healthy babe which god has blessed u wit.
Each minute u want to have a drink or swallow sum pills take ur baby hold him/her and ul see ul be smilling .
I know it killing u and making u very angry.
One thing u have to ermember is that that baby needs u and ur hubby isnt worth u ending ur life.
I know there is a few things u can get for the anger,just go to ur pharmacy and ask them ..tell them u angry all the time and they'll give u something.
I do agree u maybe need to see someone else.
Have u spoken to ur hubby abt the cheating,maybe u want some answers .And ur hubby should give u some space.
Jump in the car and go shopping wit ur baby ,meet friends for coffee...do anything to keep ur self busy and not think of him.
It will be hard but ul soon see it work.I use to do house work when i wanted to beat up my hubby...it use to cool me down.
In a marrige sometimes u loose ur self to be wit ur hubby this is the chance for u to find ur self again and to make life about u and that baby.
listen talk to us here any time we here fr u ..many of us have gone through the same thing...we dont want to loose u ...

Reply to T
Posted by: sandy | 2006/11/10

that really sounds terrible and you need to do somethign about soon. this man does not deserve your trust, your love or anyting from you for taht matter.i dont want to sound drastic but sweety he will never change and you only security might just be leaving him. once someone starts hitting you they will always do it and cheating, really it never chnages, it will go on and on no matter how much he apologises or say he will never do it again. before your life or your babe's life is threatened i suggest you start thinking seriously about your safety and your child's safety and future. and with hiv/aids so hight in SA, u just never know. its toomuch of a risk to stay with him no matter how difficult it will be do leave him it will be worth it. you and your babe deserves much better and much more and you can get all of it if only you allow yourself.

Reply to sandy

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