Posted by: Tamz | 2006/07/17

I need advise

I've been together with this man for almost seven years now. He cheated on me so many times I've lost count on how many times and every time I find out he beggs me to forgive him and I always do. Now I'm 8months pregnant and I just found out he is doing it again. Last year he asked me to marry him and now he is telling me that he does'nt want to be put under pressure he will come to see my family for lobola negotiation when he feels so. Why does it hurts so much to let him go. I feel like I've come to cross roads is either I stay with this cheating man or move on with my life without him. I'm so hurt and even though he done it before I feel like I've put my life on hold to accomodate him when he had nothing but me. Now because he is working for one of the best companies and driving expensive cars I'm no longer good enough for him. I've decided to let him leave his life and me mine but why does it hurts so much.

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Our expert says:
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WHY, why, why would you stay for 7 years with a man who keeps cheating on you ? The best predictor of how a person will behave ion the future is how they behaved in the past. it sounds as though he is stringing you along for what he can get out of this, and one doubts whether he actually intends to marry you, or anyone. Surely you deserve someone far, far, better than him ? It hurts because you are breaking a bad habit, like giving up smoking. You will get over it, and counselling might help to do this more efficiently.
And Lee --- NEVER post a fresh question as a response to someon else's question --- it'll get overlooked and messes up the thread of responses. I have no answer for it, but re-post your question afresh, and lets see if anyone else can advise.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lee | 2006/07/17

My mother in-law suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. She has deteriorated alot in the last year and cannot live alone anymore. We need advice as to sheltered accommodation in Port Elizabeth. We are looking for something private. Do you know of any places?

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Mel | 2006/07/17

Simple. Because you love him. But sometimes, love is just not enough. Unfortunately, another consequence to his serial cheating is that he could have picked up an STD. I would suggest having yourself tested, to put your mind at ease. You and your child deserve better.

Reply to Mel

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