Posted by: Annoyed | 2009/05/20

I must be stupid

I wrote a post called " teeny tiny frustration" . Me again here.

I just can' t figure out what it is but it' s just me and my manager. Because we work one on one together I' m basically her PA.

She will start with a conversation out of the blue but she starts off as if she is carrying on from a previous coversation 2 days ago and she will mention names I have never heard before so I will ask her once she' s finished talking to explain who are these people and what exactly are you talking about. Naturally I feel so dumb I could scream... Then she will switch from one conversation to something else completely different leaving me totally lost and confused and does she get to a point of these conversations, never. Sometimes she will walk out the door mumbling things to herself while she is actually talking to me and POOF she' s gone so I am left wondering what the hell just went on. I really don' t want to bad-mouth my manager but I feel so frustrated today.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

From your description, though these experiences must be very frustrating, it's not you who's being dumb. Maybe she doesn't concentrate or is too busy to remember whether she has or hasn't mentioned these things before. Couldn't you interrupt her pleasantly when she mentions someone you don't know, and say: "Sorry to interrupt, but I don't know who X is ", and/or "Sorry, but you seem to be assuming we've already discused Y, and I can't remember us doing so -- what exactly is this about ?" Sounds like she's somewhat under stress. If she's not as organized right now as she might be, don't blame yourself, and indeed don't blame her, but understand that perhaps she feels better for these conversations, and she may not actually need you to understand it all or even to respond other than by listening

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Our users say:
Posted by: Crazy people | 2009/05/22

Hi. What I would do is just ignore and switchoff as soon as she starts with her mindless mumbling. Do not respond at all. Simply ignore her unless she addresses you directly with something that makes sense and requires a response. She sounds as if she is a bit crazy or out of her depth as far as her job is concerned. Maybe she is just messing with your head. Your attitude will adjust hers appropriately.

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