Posted by: Lisa | 2010/01/31

I Love someone who doesn' t care....Help

there' s a guy I like, I liked him from the first time I saw him. Fantasized about him and it felt great, never in my life have I liked a guy just by laying my eyes on him. 2 years later the guy approached me and told me how much he liked me and not long I jumped into bed with him, we talked for 2 weeks after that and now he doesn' t answer my calls or when he answers he' s busy doing this and that. When I sms he doesn' t sms back. He' ll call once in a while and we' ll have just a normal conversation. I get that maybe he just wanted to have sex with me, but I still can' t get him out of my mind. Still think about him constantly. How do I get this guys out of my mind. Please help!! I feel like I' m gonna go crazy, I' ve read about lust/ infatuation / love and unfortunately I think I love this guy.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fantasies often feel great, not having the disadvantages of real life. Bur has it really never occurred to you that many guys are happy to flatter a girl UNTIL they get them into bed, then dump them and carry on hunting ? Jumping rapidly into bed with someone just because you like the idea of them, and long before you really know them, is never a good idea.
Now stop giving yourself negative assumptions. Stop telling yourself "I can't get him out of my mind" - of course you can, but not while youre brain-washing yourself to be convinced it's impossible.
Lust, yes, infatuation, surely. But what is LOVE to do with someone who takes you to bed and then dumps you - what is there to LOVE in someone like that ?
Get busy and keep yourself occupied with work, hobbies, nopn-sexual friends ; volunteer to help with a charity or NGO - stop leaving yourself time to moon around fantasizing about a guy who used you, and at best, may use you once or twice more, before again discarding you like a used Kleenex. Get real ! Get more pride in yourself, and remind yourself that you are worth FAR mopre than him

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Our users say:
Posted by: lucyfire | 2010/02/01

I suggest reading " He' s just not that into you" 

It will change your life and heal your heart.

It should be every woman' s bible.

Reply to lucyfire
Posted by: qwerty | 2010/02/01

Just keep reminding yourself of how badly you were treated by this guy - if you see him for what he really is, he' ll stop being so important to you. Many guys are snakes, and you need to be on the look out! It might take a bit of time to learn how to tell the good from the bad, but it' s really a skill worth learning. That way you won' t be used again.

So keep your eyes open and your legs closed!

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: Realist | 2010/01/31

Heloooooo anyone home ? Dearie, where have you been ? What do you think guys are after ? If you give yourself out for toffee, you can expect to be chewed. Put it down to experience and be CAREFUL !!

Reply to Realist
Posted by: CP MOM | 2010/01/31

Time is the most wonderful healer. I know you don' t want to hear it now but you will see, there will come a day that you will wake up and he will not be your first thought and there will be a night you go to bed that he will not be your last one. And then a day you don' t think of him .....i promise.

Good luck!

Reply to CP MOM

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