Posted by: Lesego | 2004/11/24

i like his family but he does not like mine

we got married early this year, before we get married he seemed to love my parents very much and he would phone them and greet them. i also like his family very much and i always laugh with them and go to parties and family gathering withhis family.

now that we rae married, my hubby is starting to hate my family, he does not show friendliness when we rea with them. but he wants me to be happy with his family, he even says that it's good that his sisters visit me sometimes but when i talk about my family to vist he will ask quetsion why, how where and that give sme aproblem.

my hubby is someone who likes to control me a lot, i'm very close to my mother and i can't leave her if she asks me to be there with her coz she 's a very sick person, but he will gramble and say how can i go there whilst i'm married should'nt i be with his family, i'm really worried about this i don't want to losse my parents i love them so much they supoorted me until i grew up to be lady whom my hubby is married but he tends to forget all this, HOW I DO I DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION?

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Our expert says:
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Hi Lesego,
Surprised other readers haven't responded to this query yet. Have you asked your husband why he has changed in how he feels about your family, since the mariage ? Was he faking it before, just to get the family's approval for the mariage ? Or has something happend or been said that has changed his opinion of them ?
Maybe if he greatly wants to control you ( not a great charactertistic in a husband ) he may resnet your closeness to your mother, as if she is a rival of his in this respect. There is no good reason why you should abandon your own family, just because you married. Could you possibly persuade your husband to join you in marriage counselling ? It could help ; and if he won't join in, see a counsellor yourself, to plan your best ways of handling this and gradually changing him back in the direction you used to enjoy

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