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Posted by: G | 2007/03/05

I know it's for the best but ....

Hi all,

Looking for a bit of encouragement if anything else ... maybe just having a vent.

Well, it has been 2 months now since we broke up - all for the best I know. We tried to be 'friendly' towards one another for a while, but it didn't work, so now we have cut contact completely. Which is what I have been dying for for the last 2 months, as I couldn't handle his continuous lies and mainpulations and abuse even while 'trying to be friends' on his insistance. However, now that I have it, I feel very lonely ... it's as if even the abuse I used to get is better than the lonliness.

I know that this is not the case, just feel like it at the moment. I guess it's sort of like I went into shock and I am only begining to feel any feelings again - not for him, just feelings in general. Flight of fight - I went for flight because I that's what I had to do, but I guess the 'fight' always catches up and everyone has to face their demons.

One thing that really gets to me (even though I wish it wouldn't) is that I asked and tried to cut contact many times, so I am glad I finally have that, but his last words to me were that I had turned into a nasty horrible person. And I know it's not true and I am driving myself nuts because I still let him get to me even though we are now thankfully separate.

Sorry for the length .... just had to get it all out. Hope somone out there has some friendly/encouraging words to help me as I am just feeling really low today.
Anyway, thanks for reading

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shae | 2007/03/05

It takes some adjustment to learn to live your life independantly again. Be proud of yourself as you were able to stop the cycle from repeating itself again. Its never a good idea to stay'involved' with someone after you break up, i know this. You end up hating yourself or feeling used by this person over and over again and while the idea of having someone there. even for a little while, may seem attractive to you now. Remember what t feels like when he leaves and you done know where you stand with him. Its leaves you feeling empty. So its better to go through the ,otions of breaking up and getting over someone than to keep selling yourself out over and over again.

Like i said, be proud that you are taking yourself back and fighting against this person having power over you. Im sure that what you envision love to be is not what this man is showing you.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: G | 2007/03/05

Thanks Britty ... know you are right, just tough to follow it all the time, but hanging in there and know it will get batter soon ;-)

Reply to G
Posted by: Britty | 2007/03/05

Something that I've come to realise for myself is that when you forget or forgive the past you can concentrate on your future. Its at times like this one relies on family and friends to take up the time you spend thinking about this awful man. They are there for you, use them as I am sure you would do the same in return. Good luck and much future happiness

Reply to Britty
Posted by: Britty | 2007/03/05

Something that I've come to realise for myself is that when you forget or forgive the past you can concentrate on your future. Its at times like this one relies on family and friends to take up the time you spend thinking about this awful man. They are there for you, use them as I am sure you would do the same in return. Good luck and much future happiness

Reply to Britty

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