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Question
Posted by: Someone | 2007/03/06

I know I'm a pain..sorry cs..

My ex wanted to have lunch on Sunday - I told him that I couldn't because I had some urgent work to do. He was a bit upset, like he gets to tell me what to do.

I have not seen him since last week Wednesday and have kept the communication to a minimum, though over the weekend he sent me sms's early in the mornings asking me whether I'm still awake..sending me messages telling me how sexy I am etc.

I would either not reply or reply in a very formal context. Today he asked me again to have lunch with him, so I went and while waiting for our orders to arrive I asked him whether he has found someone else to go to the weddings with him, at first he did not want to tell me - turns out he's going with some thing that caused a lot of problems between us when we were still together, they had an emotional affair (though, CONVENIENTLY, he does not see it that way).

Everytime I meet up with him I REGRET it and I feel like breaking something. He knows that I'm upset with him now, and had the audacity to tell me that 'we're not together anymore'. Yes!! I know!! why is he so adamant on spending time with me when I desperately need to forget him.

When we got back to my office after lunch, he tried to give me a good bye kiss and I turned my cheek..I mean WTF!!!! I hate him for always taking it so casually when I tell him that he hurts my feelings!! I feel like getting rid of my phone, moving away and never ever talking to him again.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't think you are both singing from the same hymn-sheet. Your ideas of what your relationship is, or isn;t, and your mutual expectations, sound radically different. A relationship that is over, ought to be over/

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joy | 2007/03/07

No you cant, and you shouldnt! Someone you know what you need to do..you already know! I know it must be very hard especially when you're thinking long term and all you're asking for is a RING!..but goodness man..i'm sure you can think of a few guys that would jump at the chance to marry you! Just remind yourself of that...even though its really HIS commitment that he wants! I always say, if he knows exactly what you want and still refuses/delays/comes up with excuses not to..he's deliberately denying it for you..be it happiness..or feeling whole or wanted..he's deliberately denying you the happiness you deserve! and you should just leave.

Reply to Joy
Posted by: Someone | 2007/03/07

I don't want bad feelings between us, I don't believe in keeping a grudge, but I do keep the communication to a minimum. I try to distance myself from him physically and emotionally, but find that after a while I start 'trusting' him again, agree to see him (as a friend) and end up getting burnt/hurt.

We broke up because he's moving to another city next year and could not make his long term intentions clear (he could say it, but not show it). I can't just give up everything to move with someone who seemingly is not sure what he wants.

Reply to Someone
Posted by: kb | 2007/03/07

Why are you still seeing the ex and by the way why did you leave each other.

Reply to kb

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