Our expert says:
You sound like a pretty normal person. But abuse is generally the abusers fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself because he treated you badly. Of course you feel hurt and betrayed, and thoughts of vengeance are natural, though apart from religious beliefs that it is not your task to act on such thoughts, in practice i also doesn't work out and is not as satisfying as you might imagine it to be.
And it is pointless to wait around for him to change --- people like that take a long time to change, if they ever do, and they are encouraged NOT to change, when someone sits round accepting and forgiving. It's one thing to say turn the other cheek --- but even the Bible doesn't suggest you should turn the other cheek 10,000 times. Not enabling an abuser to recognize that what they're doing is wrong, and protecting them from the natural consequences of their bad behaviour, onl;y encourages them to continue.
You will be very well rid of him, as there are far nicer men out there, far more worthy of your love. Let this guy learn, on his own, that hurting people is wrong --- you didn't manage to teach him that essential lesson, maybe someone else can.
meanwhile, leave him behind and move on with your own life.
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