Our expert says:
Your love for and support of your parents is wholesome and good ( and fitting both old traditions and modern thinking, too ). The demanding and greedy mother-in-law is NOT --- she is merely greedy, and you need to calmly talk this through with your husband, that she has to learn to be less demanding and less greedy. She is rich already and needs nothing from you --- she's demanding because she gets a dirty little kick out of the power play involved. Insist on sending money to your parents, who need it and deserve it, and oppose wasting money on the greedy woman, your MIL> And tell him, that if he requires you to neglect your own parents to please a greedy woman who has far more than she needs already, there is no point in the marriage. he is behaving as though he were really married to his Mom. Keep your own earnings in a separate account, and feel no guilt at helping your parents --- and refuse to cotnribute a cent towards Old Greedy.
You owe her no explanation of anything you do, let alone with your own money. With a woman like her, I'd feel rather proud if she didn't like me.
Any money going out of your family towards parents, should not even be split 50/50 --- it should go according to their need. Your parents are needy, not greedy ; his mom is greedy and needs nothing.
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