Posted by: Hurt and affraid | 2008/07/03

I just don't know anymore

I am so in love with my husband, and he says that he loves me to, but two weeks ago he asked me for a divorce. He said he is tired of playing house; house and that he can't give me what I need i.e. love and attention. He feels trapped.

We were married and shortly after that I gave birth to twins. We have been married for 9 years. He is my best friend and lover but yes with the boys and our jobs we started living past each other.

My eyes have only opened up now and I realized I have to fight to keep him, but he wants to move out and have already signed a contract on another place.

From my side I have been doing everything to show him how much he means to me and how much we love him. He does not show affection on his own but recipicate when I do, say or show something.

The past two weeks I have been living with this intense feeling inside me, I am waiting to exhale and feels like I can't breathe just thinking about him moving out this weekend. He has not said a word about moving for a week, and I am to afraid to ask because I will be crushed if he tells me that he is still doing it.

Feels like my life is ending and yes I know I have to be strong for my kids and my parents told me to give him his space. I love him and will do that but for how long must I do that then?

Can anybody please give me some advice?

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Our expert says:
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Its sounds unfair for him to spring this on you without making a realistic effort to improve the relationship, such as by seeing a mariage counsellor with you. I hope others can give some kindly and experienced advice, based on their own experience --- and I suppose you need to indicate to him that you're very sad that he feels so trapped and stressed, and would like to help, and that you would be keen to work with him within marriage counselling to try to set thigns right. But that if he wants to spend some time on his own to think things through, you will relucantly accept that

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