Our expert says:
You are depressed, in part, because you are clinging to unrealistic expectations from the relationship with the ex, pining for that to return, and probably an unrealistically rosy false recall of how marvellous it was, how marvellous the person was, and how marvellous it could be in the future. ANd those are surely false ideas, neither an accurate reflection of the past ( or you would still eb together and very happy ) or an accurate view of the future.
Much of the continued pain of the end of a relationship is due to one's reluctance to accept that it is OVER, and reluctance to let go and move on. You CAN get over this guy, but in a significant sense you don't want to -- its almost as if while you are grieving and suffering the loss, you feel that somehow keeps him closer than if you turned to better aspects of life. I'm struck by how some people in your position keep telling themselves that they CAN'T get over it --- but it is always possible, if you allow it. Why not see a good local psychologist / counsellor to work through the various issues that are keeping this an ongoing and painful issue for you ?
When you recognize that you've reached rock bottom, stop looking down. Look up, and see what else there is in the world, other than this one person.
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