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Question
Posted by: Urlinac | 2008/05/21

I have hit rock bottom

It's me again. I need your help. I don't have a family i can turn to or anyone for tat matter. I think i have hit rock bottom and i'm depressed. After i thought i was over my ex, it's not so i have been crying like a baby and i can't stop. I have prayed everyday i don't even know what to pray for anymore. i bought a new car i february and i have scratched it twice at the same place within two weeks. Am i stupid? why is everything going so bad for me? i'm depressed and i think about disappearing all the time it sounds easier everday i'm scared i'm going to kill myself. can't i get over this guy its been six months already yet i feel like it happened yesterday. He was everything to me my family now i don't know who to turn to. I'm usually strong but i'm so tired of being strong i just want somebody to take over. i'm not the kind that kills themselves when things go bad but right now i want to. isee everyone and i think they are laughing at me saying look at her she can't even drive a car . You guys are now my family what do i do now. I know i'm pathetic about the whole boyfriend thing and that i should be over him by now but it's not happening i want to forget i want to be ok i want to stop crying. Please help me i'm falling deeper and deeper and i can't stop.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You are depressed, in part, because you are clinging to unrealistic expectations from the relationship with the ex, pining for that to return, and probably an unrealistically rosy false recall of how marvellous it was, how marvellous the person was, and how marvellous it could be in the future. ANd those are surely false ideas, neither an accurate reflection of the past ( or you would still eb together and very happy ) or an accurate view of the future.
Much of the continued pain of the end of a relationship is due to one's reluctance to accept that it is OVER, and reluctance to let go and move on. You CAN get over this guy, but in a significant sense you don't want to -- its almost as if while you are grieving and suffering the loss, you feel that somehow keeps him closer than if you turned to better aspects of life. I'm struck by how some people in your position keep telling themselves that they CAN'T get over it --- but it is always possible, if you allow it. Why not see a good local psychologist / counsellor to work through the various issues that are keeping this an ongoing and painful issue for you ?
When you recognize that you've reached rock bottom, stop looking down. Look up, and see what else there is in the world, other than this one person.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Urlinac | 2008/05/22

Thank you guys for all of your advice, i'm really going to try my best to be ok because i know i'm not a failure. I will come back here always for support and just for someone with an ear. Thanks to the doc as well, you really do a good job!

Reply to Urlinac
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/22

im really sorry about the way you feeling. i have been there at many different stages in my life. Im quite feeling that way at the moment because of certain circumstances in my life. if you can find just one thing in your life that will give you the will to live then grab onto and let that be your life line while you cannot do it for yourself. Talk to us here on the site every day, or even read other peoples stories and problems, and you will see there are people are there who are worse off. try your best to be okay again and we will be here for support.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/22

im really sorry about the way you feeling. i have been there at many different stages in my life. Im quite feeling that way at the moment because of certain circumstances in my life. if you can find just one thing in your life that will give you the will to live then grab onto and let that be your life line while you cannot do it for yourself. Talk to us here on the site every day, or even read other peoples stories and problems, and you will see there are people are there who are worse off. try your best to be okay again and we will be here for support.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: sadi | 2008/05/22

Hi urlinac
No guy is worth making you feel the way you do. Alot of us have hit rock bottom too (and scratched the car a few times) but it is what you do when u are rock bottom. You can stay there and things will just get worse, or you can look up and see what you have. You are not the bad person here. What is the one thing in your life that u really would like to do? (The ex should definately not be part of this) What do you enjoy the most in life (right now it may be difficult to see any joy anywhere) but believe me somewhere something can make you want to enjoy life again. Write the things down that use to make you happy (no ex) and things that make you sad.
Try and keep ex out of all this, he is in the past!!! Wake up in the morning and find something small to enjoy (this may sound stupid) even the aroma of your first cup of tea/coffee.
Believe me I've been there- rock bottom - for 8 long years.
Life can be good if you want it to be. Its the small things that we take for granted everyday that can bring us out of that deep pit of despair. And crying is good - it is a form of healing but so is laughter. Find one person that can be a good friend to you. There is a special person out there for you. Hope all goes well and let us know how you are doing.

Reply to sadi

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