Posted by: Vengeance | 2007/03/06

I have had my share

Wow - i did not think that this topic is so sensitive!! Like i had said that i was cheated on by my ex and I was hurting and miserable, this guy offered a shoulder to cry on and I did - in the process, he helped me get my confidence and esteem back (i know i don't need anyone to give me that) but he encouraged me in a lot of things and honestly I trusted him and all this was unplanned, i confieded in him and i was bitter towards men (then) and helped me to get past that! I was lonely, disappointed and vulnareble and he took advantage of that (not that i'm expecting anyone to understand)! but yes, he was a companion in a way!

I have made up my mind and I have decided not to tell his wife! I got out of my previous relationship because there was no trust and the man cheated on me, i had a choice to stay or go, and i chose to go because i did not want to put my life at risk! if this woman suspects that her husband is cheating then it is up to her to do something about it and if she doesn't know - well i guess she trusts him (well she wouldn't be married to him had she not trusted him)! When you get married to someone you literally give your life to them - your life is in their hands! so if she can live with that - well it's her choice! I hope that some day she will realise what she got married to (a dog who doesn't think of the consequences of having unprotected sex in this day and age) and obviously selfish enough not to think of the kids that they have! who would want their kids to be aids orphans? delibarately? I am now moving on and as everyone has said - what goes around comes around - so his day will come!!

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like a very sound decision, V

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Our users say:
Posted by: jcat | 2007/03/06

V - good for you. You posted here, vented lots of your anger, got to cyber-yell at a few people, and now, having waited a couple of days, you seem to have come to the right decision.
One of the good things about a cybersite like this is that you can express your anger, get a whole range of responses back from all sorts of people, but at the end of it, both your original post and some of the responses, canhelp you to see that rushing in in anger might not help you ar anyone else. Especially the wife. She either knows and is turning a blind eye, or she is ignorant of his behaviour, in which case do you really want to be the person to burst her balloon. Bad karma, that.
Maybe you should look at changing the a$$hole is not in front of you every day!

Reply to jcat
Posted by: Britty | 2007/03/06

Dear Vengence - you did the right thing and you are obviously happy with it. I am glad that you took your time and didn't take your revenge in a hurry. Take care.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: Zorba | 2007/03/06

I never cheated on my wife with the ex but she was getting pretty persistant. I eventually ignored her and asked her to stop. This just made it worse. So hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but hell has even less fury like a married woman threatened.

Reply to Zorba
Posted by: Lauren Auder | 2007/03/06

U made da right choice..... !

Reply to Lauren Auder
Posted by: Vengeance | 2007/03/06

I am going to leave the past were it belongs - in the past! Judge me all you like (you angels) but hey - i am not going to condemn myself!! so I'm out!!!!

Reply to Vengeance
Posted by: RMC | 2007/03/06

So, because you were not married it is okay to cheat with a married man - he is the only guilty one? Well, I had thought that perhaps you were a little honourable and thought good for you for moving on but now I don't know what to think.

dont YOU get it?

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Just me | 2007/03/06

I suppose then the prostitutes that married men use are innocent too.

Reply to Just me
Posted by: Shae | 2007/03/06

Vengeance, if you had shown soem remorse or conscience perhaps one would be motivated to try and understand where you are coming from, but you dont take any responsibility for your part in this affair (and thats what it was) or for your behaviour in being party to hurting another human being (his wife). It would be easier to not despise people like you so much if you were not so blind and careless to the pain you are party to inflicting.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Vengeance | 2007/03/06

Thank you Blondie and there are a few people that could understand where I'm coming from and I thank them too.

Take care...

Reply to Vengeance
Posted by: rmc | 2007/03/06

Good for you for moving on --- but I can't understand how you could be upset about some one cheating on you and then go and cheat with some one else.

But move on, ignore him and his new stukkie -- and find your self a single and available man that you can be happy with

Reply to rmc
Posted by: Vengeance | 2007/03/06

Zorba - were you cheating on your wife - or were you just involved with her (ex)? and Joy - i've never cheated on my partner - I WAS SINGLE and it's not as if no one on this forum has never done anything that they are not proud of so GIVE ME A BREAK AND GIVE IT A REST!!! And for the record - I do not want this man back! if i wanted him I was going to call him and ask for a quicky - he would never say no! so I AM WALKING AWAY - AND I HOPE EVERYONE GETS IT!!!!!!!Even if they don't who cares???

Reply to Vengeance
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/03/06

Hi Vengeance..

Its good that you have made a decision to let this go..go on with your life, you made a mistake and it totally blew up in your face..learn from it..I've been through some though times myself, I used to be bitter and wanted revenge..

I stopped obsessing over what he must be thinking or feeling (or not) and did things right the next time around, think of yourself and what would be best for you. Forgive and forget, what does not kill you only makes you stronger (it's a cliché but so very true).

Good luck, be strong, please don't let him mess up the rest of your life.

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Zorba | 2007/03/06

I am a married man and I was stalked by an ex recently. She wouldn't stop phoning and hanging up and sms'ing. My wife got fed up, had her number traced, got a restraining order, etc. The ex is now out of a job as she had initiated a harrassment case against a co-worker and this restraining order was sent to her employer and blew her (probably legit) case out of the water. Her fiance also dumped her because of this. SHe is now a sad, lonely nutcase with issues.

So my point is. Be very careful before you dabble with this sort of thing. The wheel turns .. very badly.

Reply to Zorba
Posted by: Joy | 2007/03/06

...and so will yours!!

Reply to Joy

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