Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/18

i hardly enjoy having sex with my boyfriend of two years

My boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for two years now. We were both virgins at the time and he the only guy iv ever slept with. we love each other and are going to get married. But i dont enjoy the sex at all. Im already starting to tear up just talking about it. iv never orgasmed with him. im kinda flat chested.. i get really dry sometimes..we do it one time and then i cant do it afterwards cos its to sore. how many times is it normal for us to do it in a night. I want to enjoy sex but my body wont let me. i feel like im depriving my boyfriend even though hes understanding and tells me he loves me and im attractive. am i lacking hormones. is there anything i can take ? sorry for all the questions. would really like to hear from you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sex and sexual responses are really a individual matter – some people do it more than once and for others once a week is ok. The fact that you are experiencing pain during intercourse and are not enjoying it is more of a concern – especially in the light that you are contemplating marriage. Furthermore lack of lubrication and pain often goes hand in hand and it is often a vicious circle – the more pain you have the less lubrication and the more you do not like to have sexual intercourse that contribute again to the likelihood of experiencing pain next time round. I strongly suggest that you seek professional guidance from a psychologist/medical doctor to address this matter. It might be that you need more foreplay before penetration – you are not relaxed enough. Furthermore extra lubrication – artificial lubrication could assist with the lack of natural lubrication. It might also be valuable for you to explore “kegel exercises” – you can google it. Kegel exercises are focused on strengthening and gaining control, over your PC muscles. The PC muscles are involved with the contractions around the vagina as well as the control of bowels, flatulent and urination. Most of the times these muscles are involuntary, but with the right exercises you can gain voluntary control over them, that could minimize the pain during sex. It might be helpful for you to visit our website – where you could read a bit about pain during intercourse. You are also welcome to contact our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted to get in touch with a therapist as close a possible to you. It is definitely a strong recommendation for you and your future husband to seek couple counseling with regards this matter. Sex will be part of your relationship for many years and it should not have to be filled with anxiety and stress as that will negatively impact on your relationship in the long run.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: M | 2009/05/21

One word - lubrication!

Also try some foreplay. You can learn together as a couple how to please each other. Buy a book or DVD on sex/positions/etc and try it.

Reply to M
Posted by: XXX | 2009/05/19

Everyone is different but at your presumably young age sex is enjoyed by most couples on a very regular basis.As to doing it more than once a day,that is also up to the couples involved but I doubt whether it is that frequent.
Try using some lubricant in your love making as this will help the experience.

Reply to XXX

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