Our expert says:
As I think you realise, it's really not reasonable or realistic to engage in activities that most people have good reasons for feeling negative about, and yet insisting that nobody must "judge" or criticise you. Would you be impressed by a bank robber or hi-jacker who demanded that you must not "judge" or criticize them ?
In the situation you describe, having wisely ended the afair, the current problem seems to relate more to your felt need to be wanted and desired and loved, and to your reluctance to give up someone who was treating his wife with disrespect ( and not showing much respect for you, by the way ) - and such issues of self-esteem and loneliness, etc., are best dealt with by seeing a good local psychologist for proper psychotherapy.
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