Posted by: Anon | 2013/02/21

I guess I''m a horrible person

For getting extremely irritated and angry with the stream of rummagers on trash day. It''s far worse in our new neighborhood, they upset our dogs (our neighbors are not dog lovers..) and frequently leave a massive mess behind, which we must clean up ourselves, how silly is it that we must throw our own trash away twice?!

In-laws came to visit us one day and my mother-in-law asked, why I am picking up random garbage up off the street/our driveway, when I told her it''s OUR garbage and complained about the trash pickers I got told ''ag shame, you should feel bad for the poor people who must dig through trash to survive'' and I''m horrible for being so judgemental of the poor souls. Father-in-law jokingly added ''now we see your true colors'' to the conversation as I''m usually all smiles, ''please and thank you'' with them. I think he noticed that my blood was boiling at that point..

Am I not entitled to get frustrated at people mucking up our home without it making me a terrible a person? It is not as if it just fell into our laps, we worked hard for it and continue working hard to maintain it.
Mother-in-law''s comments on only that one day was enough to make me not want her at my house ever again. We have always given her food, clothes, wool etc. for her church''s charities. She knows that I have donated breast-milk and that I frequently buy duplicates of toys/clothes to gift to the children''s home. When me and hubby were fresh out of school, more than half of our salaries went towards supporting my in-laws, to buy groceries or clothes for hubby''s sblings and now 6 years down the line, we are the ones paying to put the youngest sibling through university.
We have sacrificed so many things and pushed back our own lives to help them out and she has never really shown us any gratitude for it. Not too proud to ask or recieve just too proud to say thank you.

I guess that''s all I want at this point, some acknoweldgement for the help we have offered them over the years and for people to stop behaving like animals when digging through our trash! Does that make me a terrible person?

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Our expert says:
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There's a difference. If some people are so desperate that they feel the need to rummage through trash for things they value, that's one thing. But they need not make a huge and careless mess while doing so. Some rummagers are tidy about it.
You sound like more charitable and caring people than most, and should not allow your inlaws to make you feel bad about yourselves. Especially as hey have been happy to accept your generosity for so oong without even having the basic good manners to thank you. The old lasy sounds like a hypocrite.
And stop helping them, as they obviously dont appreciate it, and may actually need it less than you have assumed. If they ask why, say you're putting more effort into helping the rummagers.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Estie | 2013/02/21

To ''Anon'' - and you''re a coward for posting anonymously. You just had to throw in your (useless) penny''s worth. Shame.

Reply to Estie
Posted by: Anon | 2013/02/21

Yes, you are a horrible person

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Rob | 2013/02/21

Thank the Lord I am not alone!!!!!!!!!!! I hate Thursdays when it is trash day!!!!!!!!! From about 5 in the morning you hear their trollies and the dogs barking!!! Last week I arrived home in the afternoon and my bin was lying under the tree infront of the Stand, on it''s aide and against the wall. I thought someone used it to get over the fence but nobody went into my erf. Lucky they did not because there is one very big Boerboel(70kg''s) on the stand!!
What also makes me mad as hell is that the people collecting the thrash for the municipality, takes a lot of bins, put them together infront of someone''s house and the truck only has to stop once and they empty the bins. The problem is they leave the bins all in that one place and when you get home you have to try and find your bin!!!

Reply to Rob
Posted by: Just Me | 2013/02/21

No, you are not a horrible person. Weekly the hoards arrive outside our complex and turn everything upside down. Then the Municiplaity don''t come for days and the rubbish rots outside all over the drive. Never mind the fact that not a single owner will clean up the mess after the bins are eventually emptied. They just grab their bin, step over the mess and stench and walk on! The Directors end up cleaning up each week! Grrrrrr !!
So NO you are very normal and your family most definitely need to keep their opinions to themselves.

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: Jenna | 2013/02/21

Each to their own. I personally don''t mind them but in my area they try keep the place clean. I tihnk they are quite innovative and do something good for the environment and themselves. I even put glass and other recycables in a bag right on top so they don''t have to dig dig dig- maybe that''s something you can look at doing so they don''t rummage through your bin so enthusiastically?

From my point of view, it seems that some people are always looking for an excuse to chirp how they really feel every now and again (whether they do it over your children, food, house and in your case, your garbage).

Stop helping them then, they are obviously the kind that won''t utter a good word, but heaven forbid you do/ say something that is not in line. Those kinds of people cannot be spoken to because nothing you say is right/ valid.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Estie | 2013/02/21

Nope, not in my book. I share your sentiments.
I stay in a complex and there is no entrance gate which means on ''trash day'' hordes of ''shoppers'' come into the complex (with shopping trolleys!!) to rummage through the trash. Every Thursday after work I have to pick up my own trash which I have disposed of already!
With respect to your in-laws - I too would have flipped my lid. Some people unfortunately feel as if it is their right to say and do just as they wish, regardless of the hurt they cause. Have you told them that a sincere thank you once in a while will make a huge difference to you?

Reply to Estie

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