Our expert says:
Obviously this will be a person decision you will make, but I suspect many readers and other women in your situation would be more than angry and would seriously consider ending such a relationship. AND have HIV testing done urgently, and consider stopping sexual activity with him until you have decided what more to do about this.
Couples don't always disclose to each other everything in their past ; such as previous relationships, personal problems, and so on, But they usually do disclose more within a relationship lasting over a year. And those secrets usually can't kill you.
Personally, I could not justify someone being so selfish and inconsiderate as to keep their HIV status secret before starting an intimate relationship with someone else. You need to know the HIV status of any potential sexual partner so as to have the freedom to choose to abstain rather than to run any risk, or at least to take full precautions including using condoms very carefully and having frequent blood tests. He denied you the chance of doing that, and didn't allow you the chance to make a free and informed decision for your own safety. How can one see that as loving or acceptable ?
The other important point you raise is : if he could lie to you ( and hiding an important truth is effectively a lie) about something this important, can you trust him to be truthful about anything else ?
What do readers think ?
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