Posted by: Laticia | 2013/01/10

I feel trapped

We''ve been married for 2yrs &  have a 3 month old daughter, I love her with all my heart &  soul. Im unhappy in my marriage, I want out but I dont know how. He has told me Im ugly, Im boring, he cuts me of on the phone when I ask why he says because Im not assertive in conversations (whateva that means), he tells his mother all my weaknesses, Ive never been to her mothers house he says he will take me there when I know how to clean. He doesnt help me with baby even though he wanted a child so bad that he suggested we do artificial insemination (she was concieved naturally though). He sleeps in the spare bedroom since baby was born, we''ve had sex once &  I had to go to him &  he told me he had been masturbating. There is so much I could say but right now I feel like being alone is much better than this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds self-centred and un-supportive, yes. What you're describing sounds emotioanally abusive. If he wanted things to improve, you could persuade him to join you in marriage counselling, but this sounds unlikely from what you say.
Then it is indeed better to be alone than in a continuingly abusive relationship.
As Liza says, scheck out those sources of help and work on improving your independence and abilities to stand up for yourself and thrive !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Laticia | 2013/01/11

Thank u Liza, I guess I do know what to do. Im educated &  have a good job him as well so I can take care of myself &  baby. I think in d weird way I feel sorry for him.

Reply to Laticia
Posted by: Liza | 2013/01/11

Sounds like you have your head screwed on straight. You KNOW (for a fact - it''s not just a ''feeling'') that being alone is better than suffering through such emotional abuse. And yes - what he''s doing IS abuse. It might not leave visible scars, but it inflicts scars nonetheless.

If you can afford it, go see a psychologist to help work on your self-esteem, self-repect and assertiveness. It''s a wonderful feeling to be able to stand up for yourself and not having to accept others walk all over you. You just need to learn how. If you can''t afford a psychologist, you can contact POWA, FAMSA or SADAG (just google them) to find subsidized or free counseling.

Good Luck,

Reply to Liza

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