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Question
Posted by: noodle | 2005/11/30

I feel disappointed in me....

Hey CS,

Well today is just a blue day.... suppose I could blame the weather? Oh CS what a week it's been, work is hectic but I'm learning to cope with that... I had to organise and plan a Children's christmas party which went fine in the end this guy I'm seeing has two kids which he brought with him to sleep over at my place for the first time, I've met the boy but never the girl she was actually fine in the end, the boy (11) has his moments, he is friendly but all of a sudden he would just be mean and glare at me with a nasty look. That doesn't even bother me.... so this guy's X wife is moving house and he is helping with the move today he took leave to set up the childrens beds and the DSTV dish and video etc etc.... yeah I know why the heck can't she just get somebody else to do it ??? anyhow the whole day or rather everytime I've phoned him he is offish and kinda rude, the first time I said is your X with you? that why you can't talk, so I left it and said goodbye. the second time he was driving so fine he can't talk he doesn't have a hands free kit, the third time I phone and immediatly he is rude when answering the phone I say hello, how you.... barely get an answer some mumbling or something...so I say do you want to talk to me ? his answer NO, I said fine goodbye...and as I'm starting to put the phone down he mumbles something like phone later I didn't really hear I was so hurt and annoyed !!! I just can't believe I'm back in a bloody situation where I have to make peace and be the lesser person to keep the peace.... damn him and his X and his rude manners!!!! but I also know that I don't want to be alone and I want somebody to do things with !!!! and I know that I shouldn't settle for less... so guess what the child that I am I will switch my phone off and get into the bath soak in bubbles, get a dvd and a glass of wine and just chill !!!! I don't want to feel bad or let somebody else make me feel bad.... and CS why on earth don't I trust him ??? I just keep thinking that he is cheating on me like my X husband did...will that mistrust ever go away ??? I try really hard because I know he is not my X husband but this nagging little voice in my head just keeps on bringing that issue up... will I do this with all future relationships ??

thanks for your ears!
noodle

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Noodle,
Well, we're not disappointed in you. But you're running into the Curse of the Cellphone --- never in history has it been easier for someone who is in the mood for a chat to interrupt someone else who for any of a thousand reasons, is not.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: ... | 2005/11/30

the child in you has the right idea :) sounds like a great way to spend the evening... but you have to talk to the guy and explain how you felt.... don't make a big deal out of it so that he can have a chance to explain without being too defensive...
Being with the ex could have been stressful for him... i mean she is his ex for a reason.... and could end up bringing the worst out of him.....

I know that he shouldn't be rude to you... and he should apologise... especially once he realises how you feel... at that time he might have just been so wrapped up in his own discomfort that he didn't realise what he was doing.... give him a chance to apologise... but don't continue letting him be rude to you... everyone does deserve a chance to make good when they mess up in that way.

Reply to ...
Posted by: lee | 2005/11/30

Hey noodle - sorry you've had a crappy week.

You know.. no matter how grumpy his is, or how tired he is, or wether or not his x put him in a bad mood... he really has not right to take it out on you and make you feel bad!

Take your bath, put off your phone for a while, but I don't think that you should leave it at that. If you do he will think that its an acceptable way to treat you. Phone him and give him and earful. After all... good communication is vital to any successful relationship.

Reply to lee

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