Posted by: Carina | 2009/09/01

i dumped him on spring day!!!

hi all

I am sad this morning - Very sad! I had fallen inlove with this guy and things just took off! we even moved in together. This guy earns a little, way too little but i didn' t care, the only thing that i wanted was for us to make a commitment - at least be engaged! From his salary, all i asked for was R500 contribution towards groceries - the rest was done by me. It was my accommodation and my car that we were using! our agreement from the beggining was that he was going to save some money towards our engagement - and it has not been happening - i had even offered to pay half the costs. Last month he claimed that he did not get paid at work (i gave him a benefit of a doubt)! now come this month, he' s supposed to earn a double salary - right?!?

He only bought groceries to the amount estimated at R200.00 and when i asked for the rest of the money, he started hesitating... There' s something that he really needed to the value of R200.00, so when we were at the shops i asked him to buy it for himself and he said he didn' t need it or rather want it anymore - that' s when i became suspicious!!! and we had a fight about it, and i questioned the issue of his savings - he could not answer me! he has been coming up with excuses since March, endless excuses ok! so i just got fed up and threw him out of my house, and then felt sorry for him. Gave him a ride (as usual) with his bags in my boot. I told him that the only way to save our relationship, was to show me the savings - and i drove straight to the ATM - and he claimed that he could not find his card!!! but luckily he had his ID, so i told him to go inside the bank and he will get assistance! that' s when the card miraculously re-appeared, he bravely went to the ATM and brought me a slip - guess how much he had???? -R5.86c. I was so upset and told him to get his bags out of my car and left him there!!!

I feel like this guy has been using me all along and he took full advantage of me! i feel like such an Idiot!!! I would even buy him alcohol on weekends because he would be all grumpy!!! he would tell me stories of how it would have been done had he been with his friends and cousins - you know - they would be having fun and all that! I even bouth him 2 pairs of shoes at the Spitz sale!!!!

I hate myself for allowing this to happen to me! what does the dude do with his money???? i don' t get it... I am so sad right now.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your sound ambivlent--- GEt Out ! Come Back ! Could get confusing for both of you. But it certainly is suspicious. If he is living with you, and you have been paying for just about everything, then where has his money gone ? He owes you an explanation for that, and his many attempts to evade this issue only makes it all the more suspicious. And if you were even buying him shoes and booze, then what else ? Most likely suspects? Drugs and/or other women ?
OK, maybe he did indeed use you ; it sounds like he did. But LEARN from the experience about how not to be used again.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Carina | 2009/09/01

thanks guys, your comments just made me laugh at myself - how could i be so dumb?!?

Reply to Carina
Posted by: Anon | 2009/09/01

He sounds like a looser and was just using you, good for you to dump his sorry ass.

Dont take him back and next time get a boyfriend that can support you and a potential family you would want.

Us guys must provide for our women and children, its in our genes and its our instinct to protect and provide, so any man that does not step up and live up to that expectation is a looser and you should give them a wide berth.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Paid as well | 2009/09/01

Good for you. Stop feeling bad, go out and have jol. Good riddance to the spineless creature who calls himself a man.

Reply to Paid as well
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/09/01

lol! Shame, I kind of feel sorry for him.
Well not that I should be but I do.
He was using you and I' m glad you were strong enough to realize that and be rid of him this soon instead of putting up with this longer than was nec.

So well you took a chance, you found the truth, you move on and learn a lesson.
I think that would be that you do not rush into or in relationships!
Do not rush, take your time to know your partner before making any serious commitments.

Also regarding what he done with his money... who really cares now, it might just make you mroe upset!
So count your losses and move on AND DO NOT take him back again!

Now go on and enjoy the 1st of spring!
Maybe plan a girls night out to cheer yourself up and celebrate getting rid of a loser.Or just spoil yourself with the extra money you will now have left after this leach is kicked out.

Reply to Kelly

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