Posted by: lolly | 2009/09/22

i dont cum

how badly does it bother my boyfriend that i dont come? I orgasim on toys but have never come and hes starting to feel it and thinks its him, I have never cum with anypartner so I know its not him. How can i put his mind at ease?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Orgasm experiences differ widely in women. Many will climax only with direct clitoral stimulation, like you probably have with a sex toy. 70% of women reach orgasm on only every 2nd or 3rd sexual encounter with a partner. Some women struggle to reach orgasm at all. Reassure your partner with these facts. Sometimes women may climax with oral stimulation of the clitoral area. Sex is about the whole interaction and not just ‘the climax’. Visit the SA Sexual Health Association website for more information

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: H | 2009/09/24

This is a nonsense statement that " there are not a lot of nerves inside." . My current girlfriend also just climaxed through clitoral stimulation but after a year that we were together and had sex often, she suddenly started to climax during penetration, now it just happens automatically. With her it was a case of just learning how to relax, trust and enjoy.

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Posted by: picachoo | 2009/09/23

i also had the same problem but then i became very creative,try different positions.i find being on top very very sexy and i cum all the way.

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Posted by: M | 2009/09/23

Some women cum during sex (penetration), others don' t. It all depends on the woman actually. I' ve dated both types and it wasn' t my technique that changed. But one thing that I found that works like a bomb is giving oral sex to those that don' t get an orgasm when penetrated. So you and your bf should work that in and then you will cum, he will be happy. Plus he can also manually stimulate you while he penetrates you. That should also work

Reply to M
Posted by: Woman | 2009/09/22

Just fake it. what they don' t understand is that we enjoy it even if we don' t come. It is ran ego thing. Remember to contract those pelvic floor muscles when you fake it and do it just as he' s about to come. Make some groaning noises.

No harm done, and your man will be happy.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Anon | 2009/09/22

Seldom do women come during sex with penetration alone. Women need clitoris stimulation, that’ s as simple as it is.

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Posted by: Anon | 2009/09/22

This also happens to me &  my boyfriend thinks he doesn' t satisfy me sexually. I remenber I once faked it to please my boyfriend but that was not being honest to myself, not at all. I wish guys would understand this &  use other ways such as the tried &  tested clitoral stimulation to bring their patners to orgasm.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon | 2009/09/22

I have never had an orgasm during sex before.Although i do have orgasm during romance and while masturbating but never during sex, have tried it with 3 different guys but its still the same what can i do about it?

It is a struggle for women to have vaginal orgasms as there are not a lot of nerves inside the vagina. It all happens with the clitoris which is why you are easily orgasmic with masturbation and fore/sex/romance play. So be a smart woman and be creative - while you have a guy inside your vagina, masturbate yourself, use any clitoral sex toy at the same time ( any bullet vibe is good for this - try a BUDDY :)) and then you will have an orgasm. So stop worrying about this - the bigger the deal you make of it, the more pressure you place on yourself and any guy to perform.

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