Posted by: | 2004/11/02

I don't want to be in this relationship anymore.

HI, I'm only 17 and i've recently 'partially' come out of a relationship. Sounds odd but for months i haven't really wanted to be with my boyfriend, the reasons i stayed with him were wrong i know. He was extremely depressed after a previous split between us and since then my life aswell as his own has been made a drab because of it. I just don't love him anymore and he doesn't seem to care about the way I feel or what I want for my life although I've spent the last 4 or 5 months mothering him and trying to help him through depression. But I don't think that it is right anymore for him to use that as a reason to make me stay with him. For 2 weeks now we've been on a break and to my surprise he hasn't tried to contact me (hardly), I thought this was an implication that maybe he felt the same way as i did but now he seems to be all lovey again but the problem is meanwhile on break I have started dating somebody else to relieve myself of the state he puts me in. Please advice me on how I can end this and still be able to create new relationships without breaking his heart and having to live with him threatening to kill himself unless i get bak with him!

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Our expert says:
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It sounds as if you're giving up on him unsympathetically, and thus encouraging him to give up, when he has a very treatable condition. But maybe you two have been trying to deal with the Depression without proper expert help and treatment. use your influence to persuade him to work sincerely and hard with a psychiatrist to get this depression sucessfully treated, and maybe postpone your final decision about breaking up, until such treatment is completed ? Lulu's right

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Our users say:
Posted by: | 2004/11/06

The answer to your question Lulu is he's a year older than me.Thankyou for your 'support' in my decisions to follow my own life and not bury my head in his.I have infact finished fings with him since my 1st post and he seems to have taken fings beta than i thought.However, if fings r to change his mind i hope that i can stik to my guns and carry on wivout him becus i hav made that wrong decision once b4.x

Reply to
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/11/02

hi there

it's wonderful the you know at such a young age what you want and need

you go girl


Reply to lady nina
Posted by: lulu | 2004/11/02, your friend needs help. You sound waaaayyyy too adult for your tender age of 17 and you should really not be wound up in destructive relationships like this one. How old is he?

You don't have to break his heart and totally dump him, but sit him down and explain to him that you simply don't have the feelings you had for him anymore. Then try and get him to see that he needs professional help. Depression is a treatable illness. No-one has to live with it and make the people in their lives miserable because of it too.

Good for you for seeing other people on your "break". Good for you too for realising that this relationship is bad for you. Now stick to your guns and walk away from it.

Good luck!

Reply to lulu

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