Posted by: Anon | 2008/11/20

I don' t see a future

I was engaged almost a year ago. We had a very rocky relationship and I ended it at the beginning of the year. Met someone new and we started planning our life together, I fell pregnant and almost two month into the pregnancy the baby’ s father left me. I’ m now almost six month pregnant and the ex who I was engaged to wants us to make a new beginning. He wants us to move in together and he’ s even buying stuff for the baby, he wants us to raise her as our own, he’ s very wealthy and will give me everything my heart desires. I’ m very sceptic as the problems we had are still there, although I thought that the situation with me being pregnant would change things, but I now have another’ s quality of life to consider. Yesterday he had his year end function and picked me up afterwards for a visit. He was drunk and reeked of alcohol. I was totally put off. He went into a road rage fit when another driver drove close behind us with his brights on and showed inappropriate hand signals when the car passed us. He was ready to get involved in a fist fight should the other driver have decided to pull over. I told him that it was totally unnecessary and that he should always consider other peoples feelings, he should rather behave in that manner when he’ s alone in the car. I can’ t stand violence. When we got to his house, he behaved like a five year old and an argument started. I told him that he reeked of alcohol. After that he wanted us to have sex and I told him no. He then said that I was looking for excuses and that he knows that I’ m going to look for excuses not to have sex when we are married and that he also does things against his liking to please me (i.e. having ice cream at the mall on a Sunday afternoon when he has a hangover). I ended up going home and feel I never want to speak to him again. I can’ t raise my child with him. What is your opinion on this CS? I’ m not going for counselling with this man as that was all that kept us together in the past. How do I make him understand that he should move on.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If there were sufficient problems before, for you to have decided to break up, there's no reason to expaect them to have disappeared. Only some serious relationship counselling has a realistic chance of changing some at least of the difficulties that arise within a couple. You're describing someone who may have a drinking problem, road-rage, and is prepared to drive drunk with pregnant you in the car. Why on earth would you consider dumping the father of your child ( and you say nothing bad about him ) for the sake of this potentially violent and selfish man ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: eish | 2008/11/20

love haai, no ways, if you love your unborn baby, the wealthy one is a no go area. we unfortunately cannot change men if they are not willing to work that extra mile to make a difference. it is up to him to make the decision that he wants to solve the problems you can go to as many councilling sessions as you like but if he is not prepared to work on himself theres just no way that you will be happy. you have a little one coming soo, and he/she will need all the love you can rather concentrate on that and try to move on with your life. it is hard but you know wot , you ARE that strong.

Reply to eish
Posted by: Anon | 2008/11/20

The baby' s father left me two months into the pregnancy and why I' m not with him is a whole other story. Focus, focus.

Reply to Anon

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