Posted by: Ed | 2008/10/13

I don' t like being sad

For almost 2 months now I' ve been feeling very sad. I don' t want to eat and things I used to enjoy aren' t fun anymore. I always thought the thing behind it all was because I' m in love with one of my friends. Even though he knows i' m gay and he already told me about his girlfriend and all, I still feel pathetically sad when he' s not with me. When he visits me I' m on cloud nr 9 and then when he leaves my vicious though train starts, he' s leaving earlier than normal, he doesn' t really like me, i bore him. I just want to touch him, hold him and be close to him.
Then my rational brain kicks in and tells me to get over it, it can' t happen, it won' t happen and I' m just wasting my energy. But the rest of me doesn' t want to listen and it frustrates me intensely that I end up feeling depressed most of the time and I can' t do anything about it. I really dont like feeling this way. I have random bouts of crying and I keep thinking what if, what if. For the first time in my life I' m seriously considering alcoholism or drugs just to feel better.
Im generally a worrier. I always have something i feel bad about but it' s never been this bad. Isn' t there something I can do? Because Im afraid of what I might do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Could be depression, which causes such symptoms, but it sounds far more like just feeling melancholy about an unrequited and unrequitable affection. Don't you need to work on facing reality, and instead of mourning what you can't have, to copncentrate on enjoyign what you CAN have ? Reject the idea of alcohol or drugs, which will at most only let you temporarily feel a bit better, while contributing to making you feel much worse. Maybe see a counsellor ?

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