Posted by: loppy | 2009/02/19

I don' t know what it means

My gf has a tendency of telling me about the guys who are hitting on her... she hs recently started working and as you can imagine she is pampering herself rather well.

Guys are beginning to take note of her and she has to deal with a lot of attention from the opposite gender. She has been telling about this, i don' t know what to feel or do, i mean i feel i am doing just about everything as best as i can and i am unable to read what she wants me to do about this information.

Recently the tone of her inquiries has changed a bit, or by the way we are living apart for various reasons, "  i don' t think it is a good idea for us to stay together whilst we are not formally introduced to each other' s families"  That being said she has told me we need to spend enough time together or one of us may end up doing something stupid...

I think someone has been singing the right tune and she is tempted, i mean i love her but i feel immobilised because she is not ready to get married but the only way we can stay together is when we are married...

My challenge here is, she is 22/3 yrs old and i am 27 going 28 i am ready to get married and i know she is not, she will be in 2012..i can wait for her but i also feel that perhaps i am robbing her of her youth, she is in a position to do things and see people and i want to tie her down...i love her but i don' t be an obstacle and i feel she will eventually leave ...given the temptations she is in.........

i could compromise and stay with her, but it will take her an hour and half to get to work from my place...i still don' t think staying together is an answer...we do see each other on weekends by the way.. sorry for the logn tale..i had to tell it ..advise please!

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Our expert says:
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How sad and pathetic that she fels the need to brag about this ! I suspect she actually has low self-esteem, and is loving any compliments she can get. She sounds immature, and apparently not ready to settle down, with you or anyone else. Stick to your principles.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Take a hike | 2009/02/19

I would tell her to take a hike. She is just buggering you around. She has not grown up and still thinks that she is at school datin g the local heroes, rugby captain etc. I would not waste my time with her. Whats with her telling your all this crap about her various flames? She' s just being a bitch to do that. Chase her.

Reply to Take a hike
Posted by: Wow | 2009/02/19

Hi there,

Firstly, living together without being married is often not a very good idea, and from personal experience, I would say, don' t break your principle ' Good'  principle just becoz your gf thinks she can make you break it. Good men and women will wait it out... if they really love each other and they both know who and what they want, this should not be an unresolveable issue.

Secondly, do you think your gf is committed to this relationship if she has the guts to tell you about what other guys are telling her and make you jealous? I think she is just being childish and silly. We all get comompliments from people that admire and compliment us but we don' t go about bragging about it to our partners coz it can and will cause insecurities and if you love some1, this is the last situation you would want to put them in.

True, being 22/3 is still young and it sounds like she is just starting to discover who she is and what she wants, maybe she need some time to grow. The fact that she just started earning her own money might just add to the fact that she feels and thinks that she has the ability to do things she was never able to do when she did not have the cash. There is nothing wrong with this, most of us went and go through this, it' s part of life. She just needs to explore responsibly and not forget the people she loves.... not sure how long you two have known each other....

Maybe what you can do is sit down and talk to her and ask her to listen to what you have to say... especially reagrding the living together issue.

If she really loves you, she will hear you, and she will stop trying to make you jealous... And about the marriage thing, maybe give her sometime to get comfortable with her new job, but make plans to meet with her family, but only if that is what the two of you want.

Are you sure you are ready to settle down at 28? Nothing personal.

It' s never easy..

Good Luck

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